I hate this week.

Sunday night the girl sat up, screamed her feet were hot and promptly threw up all over the bed, herself and me.

Monday's trip to LA was cancelled because even though she seemed better, I wanted her to rest up.

Tuesday night she woke up screaming her ear hurt. She has had earaches in the past, but never felt them so of course I was worried sick.

Today, Wednesday, we find another ear infection and wheezing in her chest. Another antibiotic and now an inhaler. Poor kid. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but she is now almost 6 and still 39lbs. There isn't a lot of her to be sick. I really worry when she has no appetite.

She really wanted to deliver her Valentine's to her activity group so we dropped them off and then left. She fell asleep at 4 and is still asleep. Her brother agreed to drop off her Valentine's in the morning. Hopefully, her teacher will put the girl' received cards in a bag until Tuesday. She is very sad to miss the class party. And to be honest, I'm very sad for the girl.

What does Valentine's Day mean to me? Pretty much nothing except I cook a nicer dinner. I'm making the kids a rack of lamb. They adore lamb and because of the cost, it's a rare treat.

Ah, but what does the 15th mean???? It's my Lie-Day. I'm 29 (again). I love my birthday, but I was a little melancholy this year so I signed up to watch a bunch of preteens at a school dance. I'm not sure what I was thinking aside from I don't really want to be 29 again - I just want to be 29 without the "again" and the easiest way to forget my old age would be to watch a gym full of kids trying to make out. Of course, if she is sick, I'll have to cancel out and stay home with my munchkin. And maybe the boy will stay home for my birthday too, and I'll be perfectly content.

On top of all of this, I'm suffering by having a jury duty week. Everyday I have to call in at 5 to see if I have to show up the next day. It's hard to plan a life (example: having a sick kid) with calling in for jury duty. And I have a sinking suspicion my number will be up Friday. Woohoo! A birthday-jury duty-sick kid day. I'm not bitter. My only hope is that because Monday is a holiday, all of the judges and lawyers will be leaving town early.

A Hundred Dollars Later

My brother is empowering and energizing.

After he left, I hit up Home Depot. I have to repair the drawers in a dresser and the pull out drawers in the kitchen. I brought in the broken pieces and figured out the replacements, bought an electric nail/staple gun, an extension cord, an new antenna for the television, a surge suppressor for the tv/dvd/vhs/wii/and lamp, a hook for hanging up the hairdryer, a collection of screws and nails, and more of those hollow drywall plastic things.

After I reinforce the drawers and put in new guides, I am going to go all crazy Martha Stewart with the 3 in 1 nail gun.

On Thursday on my lunch break I picked up poison for outside, some for the pantry, and those electronic insect repellants. I am tired of little ant invasions and I am really tired of finding spiders all over the place.

I could just be crazy because for the past two nights I have been up till 2am and normally, I'm a 10 o clock lights out girl.

Woohoo! Three day weekend!

Yippee! He showed up!

He arrived in bigness. He has a huge SUV, raised up high, LOUD music and well, he just has a loud presence. It's good though - it's just him.

The girl just stood there with huge eyes not quite believing he was there. But five minutes later she was on his lap and SO proud of her very cool uncle. He would have called, but he lost his phone and didn't have my number. :P He has more phone issues...

We were sad he didn't bring his dog but cheered up with a trip to Costco where the boy received an 8gig nano. Later we walked the downtown area and he got a belt made of empty bullet shells and a couple tee shirts that I had to inspect for school. It's a given that the belt isn't for school - ever. The zero tolerance policy could inconvenience his future.

The girl couldn't find anything she really wanted - she is too big for baby stuff and too little for big girl stuff and even a new pair of uggs couldn't be found. But to be honest she was just thrilled to be with him.

Uncle is VERY stylish. At 33 he is living the unmarried life and does his own thing - snowboarding, scuba diving and managing a nightclub. You can tell he is just one of those busy guys who waits 18 months to he his sister (ha - no guilt trip for him). As quickly as he arrived, he left 18 hours later after a breakfast with his sister (that's me!).

Life feels too quiet with him gone.

Unexpected Guests and Peace & Quiet

I left my cell at home and i'm expecting an important phone call so during lunch I went home and picked it up. I had every intention of going to Home Depot, but ended up sprawled on the couch eating lunch and having some apple juice. I never have 100 percent alone time anymore and it was heavenly to have a hot meal and rest. Today is a typical perfect day, the sun is bright, there is a cool breeze and the air smells like snow while it's about 65 degrees out.

So what was the call about? My brother (whom I have not been able to talk to for a year) decided to take my call. I asked for a fax number so he would sign some documents and he said he would be here today or tomorrow and sign them in person. What a nice surprise! He lives out of state (or maybe technically I live out of state) and he is a big, loud, cocky guy who the kids adore to pieces. The boy already has a shopping list I think...boots and an i pod, ha!

I haven't told the girlie because he is...unreliable... and she would be devastated if he doesn't show, so, instead she will be marjorly surprised. He said he isn't staying with us and then mentioned he was staying with us so we shall see. Anyway, long story short, he is going to call for directions. Maybe.

Everyone needs a crazy younger brother or uncle in their lives!

Making Dreams Come True

I love five year olds. They have many dreams that are easy to make come true. They are still a little young to ask for a pony, car or for the lead in a school play. I love to play the part of the wish granter. Probably because I know soon enough I won't be able to have a hand in it.

There is this silly movie that is out (and advertised as one week only). Yes, roll your eyes - it's the Hannah Montana 3D movie concert. We arrived hours in advance as Fandango advised us that even though we bought tickets we were not guaranteed seats. We checked out the shopping and then got in line. The line had already started two hours before the show started.

The line was filled with girls 4-14. Most were in costume with Hannah Montana hair and clothing. When we were let into the theater, girls started screaming. It got louder once the movie started. Girls were singing and dancing in front of their chairs and in the aisles. For my five year old, it was the most exciting place to be.

I'm not a fan of pop music and I don't have the Disney channel, but for some reason the little girl likes her and as her mom, I feel on occasion I have to bite the bullet and let the girl be starstruck for an evening.

A Tongue Lashing

At work we have a committee. It is meant for bringing staff concerns to the big wig. I think all companies have this sort of thing. Upward Communication, blah blah blah. Only it never quite works out that way and it's really Bitchfest 2008. Or in the case of this history, Bitchfest 2006.

I was appointed secretary because it was leaked out that I was already taking minutes (though, they were secret minutes and never to be given to those not on The A List). I decided to spice it up by writing it in the way the meeting occurred - like a dialog. Everything true and well, maybe not flattering. But fact full with perfect quotations.

Basically, I wrote exactly what happened at the Bitchfest meeting. I didn't realize it, but some never saw it as a Bitchfest and took the whole thing seriously.

After it was distributed, I got called into a minor bigwig’s office for a verbal yet polite tongue lashing. I retired from my secretarial position because I allowed subjectivity to become part of the meetings history and as I told her everything I write is subjective. I have always thought the lashing was polite because it could easily have ended up in print later.

conversations:

With the boy this morning -

I am usually SO careful but we were both being smart asses and I let him out of the car. Because we were so silly, I forgot myself and shouted after him "I love you!". His face was priceless. Here he is, 5'11", in his black jeans that look painted on, his leather jacket and bangs flat ironed to his chin and braces and he smiles and says, "I'm going to kill you for that." Luckily, I'm not almost 15 with a mom who professed her love to her son in the school parking lot.

With the girl (5) last night:

Mom, when are we going to LA again?
Why do you want to go to LA?
LA is like a vacation. I need a vacation.
Me too honey, me too.

With her weekend lesson cancelled I might take her to LA. If the boy and his girl want to tag along, why not? I could take the girl to see Hannah Montanna and the teens can rove Melrose. how much trouble could they possible get into?

Grrrr

The curtains are down. The girl decided to climb up them. This is what happens when your 5 year old climbs ropes at the gym. Their life is not spent on the ground like normal people.

Now I'm contemplating if I should try, try, again.

Making headway...

It was very hard to get the wire bit in the little tube and then put the little bits in to hold it in while balancing on a step stool. After dropping everything several times - and climbing up and down the stool with screws, an electric drill, and other hardware I mounted the second part but could not hold the wire while doing the last part. I grabbed the boy and being almost a man, he figured it out. *phew*

But I don't think I like the way it all looks. Shears are really, well, shear! Even orange ones. Maybe it will be improved once I move her carpet and hang her pictures and put in her puppet theater...? Maybe??? What I would give for 400 more sq feet!

The poor little girl is sick with a head cold and I'm dousing her with hot tea, Dimetapp, and she has her antibiotics and Delsym before bed. I brought her home early and she watched WordGirl while we snuggled and I read. She did some of her homework and then we just talked and curled up like cats. We had a light dinner and then the boy stayed with her while I ran to the store for bread and milk.

I am not sure if I will be able to make it into work tomorrow. I just want her to feel better and her teacher told me almost every kid in the class as well as herself all have the same bad cold.

I'm off for some tea and a good sleep as I refuse to get caught up in an illness right now.

Sweet Dreams.

PS - I am thinking nothing I'm saying makes sense...Here's the Ikea product. Notice there are no screws....

and the orange panels....I used 4.

I am so behind!

My living room is still torn up and because of the new arrangement, I'm going to have to get a power strip thingy so I can turn off the light with the switch instead of climbing behind a chair and pulling the plug in and out of the wall every single time I want the light on or off. Yes, that is exactly what I will call it when I go into Home Depot "power strip thingy" and chances are, they will know exactly what I'm talking about.

I am borrowing wire cutters so I don't need to purchase them too. But with the rain, I now have ants in the pantry (which is now empty and all of the food is in boxes). Home Depot has a poison free spray that intimidates them and I cannot find the entry point so what a mess!!!!

AND the boy said he was going to fall yesterday and grabbed the towel bar in the nice "new" bathroom and it broke. How can you almost fall in a room with less than 2 sq feet of standing room???? I'm not upset, just bewildered.

I get to figure out this other thing that the boy's girlfriend's dad gave me for the screws. It's a white plastic hollow screw. I "think" I somehow drill that into the wall and then drill in the screw. I am guessing it makes the screw in the drywall more secure? I have never dealt with any of this and I am positive he is laughing because I have no idea what I am doing and he is a professional and gave the the white things just to confuse me even more. And how do I get it all out when I move?

I am SO out of my comfort zone. Can you tell?

This weekend, I am starting my garden. This year it is my "random"garden. What is a random garden you ask? Basically, anytime the girl or I see interesting seeds or starter plants, we will prepare them and then plant them. No careful planning this time, lots of crowding. We just want it to be filled with lots of flowers and get butterfly visitors. If I can find some really cheap large pots, we will grown vegetables in them the third week in February. I can't wait to have bouquets of flowers!

Weather Update!!!!

Today on my way to Pinkberry, I walked past HSS (Huntington Surf & Sport). They had a sign on the door.... "We are open, doors closed due to weather." Yup, we had a little rain today. And for an afternoon, the world stopped.

I took a pic with my cell phone, but I'm not sure what the easiest (cheapest) way is to get it off my phone and posted here. :P

The Ikea Whore Strikes Again!

After the girl's lesson this morning, we headed to the land of the free breakfast. Okay, while it's not really free - they off a .99, 1.99, or a 2.99 breakfast with coffee. And what 5 year old doesn't love, love, love coffee?

Alright she had orange juice and I had the java. When all the food was cleared, I grabbed the coffee cup and dropped her off at the kids room and headed back to the cafe with a book and refill. Forty five minutes to sit and read. Alone. And drink. It's really quite perfect. My private utopia. With 15 minutes of free time left, I start planning the living room.

I picked up two packages of orange sheer panels, a wire curtain rod, colored picture frames, and then picked her up and headed through the checked out. My 6 dollar breakfast bill ended up being a 50.00 field trip. There is so much I NEED from Ikea. Okay, okay, I'll call them "wants".

I have an insanely long living room and no playroom so my goal was to move the entertainment center, flip the couch, move a chair, figure out the curtain rod, and hang the new curtains. Then throw her stuff back in her new "room" and hang her pictures in the frames and call it a day.

Of course I'm mostly halfway through this ordeal when I realize my cordless drill is dead. So very, very dead. It's been charging for three hours and it's still mostly dead. So now I have (drum roll please...) a huge mess.

No wait, now I have two giant messes. Without her play area fixed up, I now have half her stuff in the kitchen/dining room/office and the other mess is the unfinished living room.

I could not move the entertainment center by myself with anything in it. I unplugged and removed the dvd player, the vhs player, and the wii. I cannot figure out all of these plugs and cords. The boy is off with friends so I have to wait for him to come home and reset it up. And I guess deep down inside I don't want to!

I'm heading for Pinkberry. I cannot take this do-it-herself project without crying in my frozen crack yogurt.

Do you have any idea how bad network television is on Saturday night?

Rain, Flash Floods, Toronados, Oh My!

Just last week it was in the 70's and now, we have weather. Weather is a novelty to most Southern Californians (and my home state AZ). We appreciate a little rain, a bit of fog, and of course take for granted wearing tee shirts and flip flops year round.

But give more than some sprinkles and we are seriously impaired. Freeways are at a stand still, we hurl curses at idiots that "don't know how to drive in the rain" as we hit storm drains filled with water at 50mph and think "Phew! Didn't see that one coming!". We insist on driving through washes and being rescued by helicopter and insist it was just a little water, I was SURE I could make it .

We are simply weather stupid. Before my fair weather com padres get upset, I mean really, think about it...our weather man is named Dallas Raines. He sports suits made for gangsters (the old fashioned kind - not "gangstas"), a bright orange tan and Da Vinci veneers. And you know he is totally guessing. How hard is it to say, it's going to be sunny and 70 degrees 300 days a year?

This my friends, is Dallas Raines

People on the street are interviewed (weather makes the top news story) "I see it's raining and you are wearing flip flops...are you getting wet?". Uh, ya think?

Don't get me wrong, I own an umbrella, it's just it was broken when I let the kids use it this summer in the sprinklers. I never thought I would actually need it.

Lovingly yours,

Queen of Weather Stupid (who is simply bitter because she dried and styled her hair only to have it get wet and look like shit on her way into the office and she finally remembered what happened to her umbrella.)

last night was uneventful.

Listened to The Rock's newest video release The Game Plan while reading a really awful romance novel. I have a thing for the pirate rogue and this did not have my favorite type of character. It was SOOOOOO bad that I wanted to put it away, put I kept hoping for some nicely written sex scenes. However, they just repeated the same ones over and over. Really? - do I care that the her fingernails were tingly? Four times?????

Instead, I was bored to tears by the man who loves his wife in the bedroom but doesn't acknowledge her during the day. If the author threw in some Bible verses it would make more sense to have that many morals within a pink cover.

Mystery Solved!

I noticed a week or so ago, my pantry had a weird (bad) smell. I pulled it apart thinking a potato must have fallen from its spot or some other item had fallen. To be honest, after we had a mouse over a year ago, I was thinking that one of the traps had caught something. But no, everything was neat and tidy.

Yesterday, the boy was looking for something to snack on from the pantry and I heard him gag. He was holding a baggie with a brownish red liquid in it and asked, "How long ago did you buy roast beef?".

Ack!!!!!!! In my morning haste (and I don't remember how long ago I bought roast beef), I must have made the girl lunch and absentmindedly put the baggie in the cupboard instead of in the fridge.

I am dancing with joy over the fact that the mystery smell has been solved. And I wasn't the one who had to deal with it.

The weekend fun that wasn't....

Saturday:
took the girl to her first new sport lesson and realized I was an hour off - she missed it! She was beyond sad so I asked if I could pay someone to give her a lesson. They were really nice and just put her in a different class that was just starting. Crisis avoided!

After her lesson, we went to get her new skates. it's kind of pathetic, but the shop is adjacent to a huge arena and it was PACKED. I kind of wig out at really loud and busy places so we went into the shop and I had this huge panic and we had to leave. I drove around the block deep breathing a couple times before I could handle returning.

She was over the moon thrilled! She keeps taking them out of the bag just to marvel over their perfectness. She has to 'break them in" and wear them about the house with the guards on them.

We spent the early evening at Downtown Disney. Dinner was nice until the last couple of bites and I found in my salad there were bits of glass. Of course I felt I was going to die at that point. :P Yes, I am a bit dramatic....

We got home and the boy joined us for a movie.

Sunday:
I woke up with the worst migraine I've ever had. I got them ready for church and took her to her class and the boy went to do his bit (he assists with A/V - he insists or he says he would be bored and fall asleep). I went to the cry room and fell asleep. I felt SO bad. Finally, the medicine kicked in I was able to function and I took them to Chuck E Cheese for the girl's friend's birthday.

One of the moms asked me what my girl's goals were for gymnastics. I replied, her goal is to learn new things, have fun and not get hurt. She said No, what track does she want to be on? Is she looking at national competitions, recreational competitions? This year? Next year?

YIKES! Our girls are only 5 (well hers isn't quite 5). Do 5 year olds really have any goals? Do they plan the future at 5? Is it strange to be a good gymnast for a 5 year old and NOT have a goal for the future set yet? I just can't make plans that far down the line. So I said "We'll just have to see what happens when it happens." I probably failed the ambitious mommy test, and won't make it in the exclusive mommy club.

For giggles I asked her last night, "So honey, what are your future goals?" and she replied, "To play soccer." I should add, soccer is one sport she has never played. So her brother piped in, "But you've never played." and she said "I've been practicing. I've been kicking the beach ball against the stairs". You can't argue with that logic. However, it's going to be really hard to fit soccer into the current schedule. And I know nothing about soccer aside from what I saw in Bend it Like Beckham.

I went to Trader Joe's for groceries, saw that Wild Oats is now Whole Foods (depressing how mega corporations take over everything that is lovely). And shopped for casual clothing for the girl at a local shop.

Monday
I cleaned. I ironed two weeks worth of the girl's uniforms, put clean bedding on the beds, and made a lovely dinner. While I was cleaning I came across my mom's journals. I started reading the one from the year she died and came across my birthday. For some reason it makes me miserably sad that she doesn't mention it. And then I'm miserable because I feel guilty for reading her private things. Now, I'm all melancholy.

My Eyes!!!!!!!!!

I don't knock on the bedroom door to the boy's room. My house, my room, he is just borrowing it until college.

Last night he got back from seeing Cloverfield. He was being a little - well a LOT of almost 15. So I went to his room and opened the door to continue to nag him (I as a mom am not above nagging) and he responded, "Mom! I was about to change, can't you knock first?!".

I responded "You're in your boxers and I wasn't finished talking to you!". (Yes, I call nagging "talking".)

So he got smirky said "Okay, fine" and pulled down his boxers.

GOD, I HATE 14!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, now he's grounded and has no phone. It's going to be a LONG weekend.

In the future though...

I'm going to knock.

I was horribly wrong

I had thought my project was complete but after running the numbers found we were about 500 off. I spent a frantic couple of days getting them in. It was such a bad feeling! I have had afternoon headaches for the past couple of days so I have left early. I don't think my eyes can handle so much of the computer anymore.

But once again, I am done (for real this time) and not I just have a massive amount to file.

So as it is I have nothing intereting to add! This is what happens when you live at work: your life becomes stale.

Because of everything taking so much personal time, I'm planning a weekend getaway. I have no idea where yet (hence the beginning planning stage).

But I cannot stay home! I need to have an adventure.

Ha! I am mostly done with my project!

More papers will be crossing my desk over the next six months, but nothing like what I was processing this past month. I felt so badly for my kids. I would work, pick them up, pick up dinner to-go and then go back to work. They would use computers, read and explore while I slaved away. Then, I'd bring them home and decide if I needed to go back to work or stay home and go in extra early the next day. Super awful!

My boss doesn't mind overtime for this project but to be honest, I HATE doing overtime. I'd much prefer to go home and live my simple life.

Today was busy, I took the girl to ice skating lessons and bumped into an old friend. Our kids skated while we chatted so it was nice to exercise our mouths while we froze our asses off. After, I took the girl to breakfast and we shopped at Ikea.

While I was there I found a little kid dresser in the As-Is section. I LOVE the As-Is section. I have no hand or wrist strength so it's serendipitous to find pieces that are already to put together. I should say also that I drive a sub compact.

I got the dresser to the car and realized there is no way I can fit it in the trunk...or the backseat (the girl is under 40 lbs so she needs to be in a regular car seat (and she is almost 6!). So I manage to get it in the front seat but I have to hold it while I drive and drive with the window open. I opted to take a longer route and skip the freeway as I had no vision on the right side of the car. Always an adventure! I am glad though, it is perfectly darling and when she outgrows it, it will be small enough to fit inside a closet. Here it is, isn't it sweet for a little girl? She wanted to use it for her cooking supplies and cooking show. She makes movies of herself as a tiny Julia Child's.

My bathroom is done. I skipped painting and just went with brightly colored accessories colors. All the towels are yellow and the hand towels are bright lime. I added a lime rug too. Under the sink I found some containers and everything is simple, very neat and pleasant.

Next project is the kitchen. I picked up some large boxes and I hope the will fit for my baking supplies, but glancing up just now, I don't think it will work...I hate doing returns.

This whole "simplify your life" and "declutter" thing is a lot of effort. The payoff will be worth it though, a place for everything which means less work down the line for me!

Missing you all...

Work is incredibly work filled and I have been doing 10+ hour days and no days off for so long now so I have been quite neglectful here in blog world. My arm and hand are killing me and once this stupid project is over, I'm getting a massage.

To add in more to my calendar, I am cleaning out my downstairs bath and going to learn how to hang a cabinet. I may paint as it's quite ulgy 'as is'. AND when I am not being "handywoman", I will be sequining my girls' leotard and making hair things for her show this month.

Now if only I was also cooking meals from menus and ironing, I could wear a cape and be called "Super Mom".

So my cape right now just reads, "Super Tired".

Yours,

me

Thanks Ted!

So last night I fall asleep and around 3 I wake up again. So I try out Ted's "get to sleep" trick:

"I'll let you know my secret to insomnia. it sounds weird but it works, lay in bed, close your eyes and envision yourself having to survive in the outdoors after a plane crash or sunken boat or something to that effect. think about how you would build a shelter, make a fire, what you would eat all of that stuff. it gets your mind off what your thinking about and tires you out and then blam you are asleep."

So I decide to think about being on an island and because it was raining outside, I decide to make my fantasy occur during a tropical storm. I tried thinking of ways to make shelter.

I decided digging a hole and covering up with leaves would probably drown me. So then, I consider the fact I don't even have a pocket knife or flashlight and it's dark. I realize I'm cold, wet, alone and in the dark as I'm pretty sure the airline would not have permitted a lighter or matches on the plane.

As for breakfast - I can't fish. I went fishing when I was a kid but had a hook and line. And I caught nothing.

I start to panic. If I was in this scenario, there would be nothing nice and romantic about it. It would be hard and I'd probably slice my hand open banging a coconut upon a rock. I see visions of pneumonia, tetanus, and toothaches.

At this point I FEEL cold. So I tucked myself under my soft fuzzy fur blanket and I am SO grateful I have three pillows and a bed. And I fell asleep, soundly.

Reflecting, I should look up some wilderness survival course. If I should ever be in that situation, or even stranded on the 405 during rush hour, I want to come up with more than a hole covered with leaves.

The hole bed solution doesn't work for them either.

Insomnia Sucks

Up since 3...thinking I should just shower and go to work.

*sigh*

I should be chipper today.

An new guest over for dinner

Spaghetti was delish, rolls were nice, and for dessert we had Girl Scout ice cream. The cookie to ice cream ratio is off and that makes me sad. I love the Samoa ice cream and wait all year for it.

Maybe it's the memory of being a girl scout and selling door cookies in front of the grocery store and knowing the power of the lisp. While I never had a real speech impediment, I could look up from under long braids and ask, "Pleath Mither, would you pleath buy some cookieths for Girl Thcouths?

I use this power of speech inflections to even present day. Sometimes it's completely automatic and other times intentional. I can mimic almost any accent in a conversation and it's even easier over the phone. It amused coworkers when I did phone work back in the day.

Happy New Year!

I awoke with a cotton tasting mouth and remembered my affair with Mr. Myer's. The front lawn is strewn with streamers and confetti. The old year has ended.

And at the early hour in quietness, I reflect on the last year but I am also brimming with anticipation for 2008. I do not set a resolution, but I do consider ways to make this year even better.

I am throwing my nervousness about exploring new places aside so I might be more open to back roads, side trips and simply getting lost. I have spent the past year tramping through Los Angeles and the Bay Area and I just want to ready my mind with the knowledge that nothing goes perfectly and the imperfect things are what you remember most vividly.

I must go on vacation. I know that sounds silly - I often take vacation time. However, I feel drawn to visiting an unfamiliar state with a new horizon. I am a west coast girl and have never crossed the Mississippi or set foot into Canada and I have a strange desire to visit Banff and I think visiting New York would be amazing. So I shall draw up budgets, and see what can be done about those dreams.

Finally, I will try not to look inside myself quite so much and look inside others. I am quite stingy with my affections and often quite blind to what people close to me need out of me. I know these are part of my character traits, but that doesn't require them to be used.

I wish you the best of the New Year - magic and thrills in unexpected places.

Happy New Year!

When I grow up....

My friend and I were talking and I realized that I don't think I will ever grow up to be a mature completely grounded person. I will never fit in as sophisticated and recently, I realized I don't want to. I am quite content to be silly, pretend the snow foam is real snow, and believe in true love.

For over half my life I wanted to be a grown up, never quite realized when being a grown up had happened, and now at 34, I've decided being an adult isn't a ticket to automatically being a member of the cool and cultured adult world. Instead, I'm an observer and mostly a comrade to babies, tots, young adults and those who have lived much longer. I will never learn to contain my wise arsed remarks, I'll continue to put my foot in my mouth, and flirt and tease with careless abandonment.

I'll keep my hair in colors not found in the natural world, wear necklines that are too low and heels that are too high, and sometimes, I'll throw my hair in a pony tail and sleep in and stay up too late. I will continue to laugh too loud, and experience everything for the first time all over again.

I am looking forward with anticipation and excitement for a breathlessly exciting 2008.

*~Friends~*

I had a friend over for dinner. I love having people over; I should do it more often. We lit candles in the fireplace, set some throughout the house and table, and plugged in the tree.

We grilled on the patio, had a few drinks (note to self - never buy raspberry vodka again), had ice cream and played some games. The wii is a lot of fun - you can have a lot of ages playing together. While the games aren't groundbreaking, it is nice not having to push 6 controller buttons.

Just a bit ago we said goodbye and the house felt bigger and quieter. I like being around people. Off to blow out the candles...

a call from heaven?

I've written that my mom died about three years ago. So I'm at work and hear a vibration. Cool - it's my phone, so I pick it up and see who is calling.

I don't screen calls, I'm just curious. So I look at the caller and it says..."Mom". I didn't have a cellphone three years ago.

So a rush of emotions fall over me. I always miss my mom, but just seeing "Mom" in print sort of rips my heart out all over again.

Then I glance at the number. My home phone? Mom? My house?

Then it hits me. I grabbed my son's phone by mistake on my way out the door today.

Not a haunted phone at all, just a frantic teen removed from his lifeline, and once again it is I who am "Mom".

Snow Day!

Alright, there isn't any snow on the coast, however, it was cold (39 degrees was the low) to the quick this morning and I could see the mountains clearly braced against a perfect delphinium blue sky. It isn't often that the air feels clean enough to bathe in.

I relished the heat in my car and contemplated a run for coffee on my way in this morning and then thought "Run? hummmm....I should take up running again".

I'll never be a fast runner, I tend to just sort of plod along and think happy thoughts or no thoughts at all. But it's quite an exhilarating feeling, there are beautiful coastal areas with good paths.

It would be engaging to pick up a hobby with a runner's club. I have an old contact that should be able to give me the information and set me up.

Dearest Readers

You ever have a revelation? I have figured out that everything I experience has my perspective on it, and that because I am an optimist most of the experiences I have had, are positive and wonderful. But what happens when you learn that your point of view is heavily skewed and distorted?

That is when you have a revelation and learn that something you thought was delightful was really just, well, not positive and wonderful. In fact, bordering on disturbing...

So as I think this over, I have decided to not trust my experiences of the past, and simply reach for a future where I am happy and content.

If you have read all this, I will say that reading people's blogs shows the part of a person that is probably more their real inner selves or the self they want people to see than the person they share with people in their everyday life. Even fictional accounts take a kernel of truth into them.

I am grateful for all of the people who read blogs, and more importantly for me, reading the these blogs keep my heart and mind filled with humor, kindness, and truth about humanity. So keep writing!

Some tree pictures...

This is the full tree, doesn't the angel look a little cramped?



Here is is a little more close up.

This is the biggest tree I've set up. You can tell that even with the step ladder I wasn't able to really decorate the top portion. I'm sad to only have it up for the week. next year I'm going to have to use a list and chck off items on a schedule.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Reindeer food. It's a little plastic bag kids get from school filled with uncooked oatmeal and glitter. You're supposed to throw it on the lawn/sidewalk on Christmas Eve so that Santa can find you're house more easily and the reindeer get a snack.

Sounds completely innocent, right?

While I was at the store, the girl fell asleep and when I got home, I woke her up so she could throw this reindeer food outside and put a cookie for Santa by the fireplace. She quickly falls back asleep and all is well.

Once the house is quiet, I decide to grab gifts out of my car. I step outside and literally run into an opossum. I don't know who is scared more shitless. It books it into the shrubs and I was just frozen. Front door wide open.

On instinct, I ran into the house like a crazy woman for a broom and swept that crap up as quickly as I could. I feel like throwing up. It could have run into the house. I would have had a mini death over something like that.

In the future, the reindeer can STARVE.

Santa needs some tequila for her nerves...

Who know Christmas could be so hard?

Off to figure this shuffle out...

Downside of a Christian Education

So we crammed in all the pre-holiday festivities into 48hours. Last minute shopping, cooking, baking, wrapping, and we get home and collapse.

I told the kids I had to run to the grocery store for a couple items and the little one pipes up "Don't forget to get stuff for the cake!!!" Huh? Cake? Who is baking a cake?

"Mom, you have to bake a cake for Jesus!" Who does this, and why don't they tell me weeks ago? Don't I get to decide family traditions?

But looking into her great eyes filled with visions of a baby in a manger, I melt and decide to hit up a bakery.

I hope Baby Jesus likes carrot cake.

The Green Eyed Monster

My little one is experiencing terrible jealousy pains. The boy has had is girlfriend over and the girl tries her hardest to sit between them or prevent her brother from getting anywhere near her or even hates to leave them alone together. I caught her standing in his doorway playing her DS game refusing to move or look at them.

Even strangers are not safe. A young couple was sitting in a local restaurant (girl on his lap) and she went over and sat at their table staring at them with huge eyes. The stranger girl got a little nervous and asked the girl if she wanted them to leave. She refused to answer and I had to call her over.

Tonight, at the mall, the boy put his arm around his girlfriend and the girl could not squeeze between them so I saw her finally just give up and she walked with her arm around his girlfriend too.

She has put aside the jealousy and has now claimed his girlfriend to be her new best friend and that they are a "girl's only" club so he cannot sit with them.

It is probably the first time the girl has not been the center of attention. Even at school, she is always in charge of a group of kids, having them play her games, stories, and inventions. It is fascinating watching her solve her problem.

O' Holy Night!

I have the most dear friend. She knows just how crazy, compulsive, angry, and confused I am and she STILL chooses to be wonderful to me. I've had lots of close friends who sort of freak out and just leave. People seem to expect more of me than I can give and she expects nothing.

Anyway, she asked if I had lunch plans and I said yup, I need a tree. I have one of the smallest sub compacts and no roof rack. And there are four days till Christmas. We checked out the trees but most were 12 feet or more but to the side was a pile of trees wrapped in twine. We were starting to see what they looked like by standing the upright and were told they were mystery trees. You can't open them up until you buy one.

We looked at each other and grabbed one. I thought it was about 6 feet tall. They trim the bottom, put it on a shaker and tied it on my car. We drove to the house and rolled it off the roof. It was HEAVY. We drag it to the house and stand it up. Only it won't stand without gauging the popcorn ceiling. It's about 8 inches too tall. Unable to deal with it, we stuck it in a pot of water. We were laughing so hard.

So tonight, the girl watched while I trimmed off a bit from the top and got it in a stand and set it up. I put tons of lights and it is just beautiful. All of the lights are frosted and there are regular style, little pearls and big pearls. I have about 600 more lights I could add but I'm too tired to keep climbing the ladder to reach the top.

My hands hurt, they are cut up and have sap stuck on them, I'm still sick, but I'm so happy the job is done and it is the prettiest thing you have ever seen. The boy is cleaning the house tomorrow - floors, mirrors, dusting, putting movies away and organizing. I think he should invite his friends over more often.

Now, all I need to do is plan Christmas Day dinner. I have an idea about serving crab and prime rib, but I have never cooked either. It's on my mind though... Traditionally, Christmas Eve is simply pizza for us.

This is why I went home...

At 2:30am I was woken up. I tried to go back to sleep and just had this thought...bathroom. Finally it hit me. Yesterday, I had to make some important copies for work. So I made them and forgot to deliver the originals.

So I left my office a second time with them in hand.

I decided to make a quick stop to the ladies room and there were a lot of women there who are not with our company. So instead of leaving the papers on the counter, I brought them in with me. They are tiny stalls so I shoved them in where the toilet seat covers are and did my thing.

I left the ladies room and went back to work.

I never got the documents out of the seat cover thing.

It's bad enough explaining how I lost them HERE.

Imagine telling my boss. As I was explaining, he got so flustered and uncomfortable, it made the entire situation worse.

It was the walk of shame.

And I Am Still So Busy!

My workload is just crazy right now and it doesn't help that I have succumbed to the illness the boy's girl shared with him, so I probably won't be able to write a daily update until the first of the year. It makes me sad - this blog is very good for me.

The other downfall was Friday night. The girl and I ended up at the mall to get a birthday gift and we decided on Webkinz. The girl started to cry,"I've ALWAYS wanted a charcoal cat!" and she has these amazing giant brown eyes that began to fill quickly with tears.

I was so very, very tired - it was almost 9 and I still had so much to do, so I caved. That is what happens to a woman who is exhausted and just wanting to leave the mall without a scene. I bought one for her and one for her friend.

So now I'm addicted, like a ho to meth. I ask people, Oh if you're going to the Hallmark store I need a cow - I mean my daughter needs the cow...and can you check out the charms? Here's a list of the ones I don't need - I mean she doesn't need".

Ack! I have successfully avoided my obsessive compulsive behavior for a couple of months (oh shut up, the Huell thing does NOT count). And besides, I mean the obsessive-compulsive thing that I can live on for years...

Okay, I'm off to read my favorite blogs. Thank you so much for reading!

Oh Dear!

Work is stacked up to my eyeballs and I have 2 parties to attend today, so I won't be able to read or update today.

The weekend in brief:

• took the girl to a party where she learned to ice skate
• froze my ass off at the aforementioned party
• drank egg nog
• stayed in pajamas from 8pm Sat till this morning. Yes, the same pair. :-O
• the boy is sick
• had two cocktails and went to bed

Exciting!

Field Trip

So yesterday, I asked my coworkers if they wanted to jaunt up to Montebello with me during lunch. They are incredulous and said it was a very long drive. Being the google map queen, I point out that we are here and about only 5 inches away is Montebello. They scoff.

Finally one asks, "WHY do you want to go to Montebello?" Knowing that "Cuz I've never been" isn't going to work on Miss Logic, I spilled it. "Because I want Broguiere's Egg Nog and Huell Howser hangs out there".

I hang my head in shame. I have a closet crush on Huell. I mean goodness have you seen this man's hands?????

This morning I come in and she had bought me 2 bottles of Broguiere's from her local gourmet market. So I'm swigging this stuff and just a little sad that it wasn't accompanied by a hug from Huell and the line, "That's amazing!". Cuz, when he says it, I believe it.

My Christmas List

A week at the Golden Door Spa. I love spa's. My favorite is a deep massage, hot stones, lots of oil and a silent masseur. Just the big hands, no talking. My most unusual treatment has been a vichy shower. It's a 'wet' treatment. You lie nekkid, covered with a couple towels on this cushy table in a tiled room and someone comes in and uses these shower heads with about 7 jets and scrubs and rubs your body till it glows. Something strange and delightful about having someone bath you. So seven days of bliss.

A horse. I grew up in AZ near an Arabian horse farm. I've always wanted a horse of my own. I would end up paying to ride at the stables.

A throw to line my world with fur...(yes folks, it's faux chinchilla)

I've already mentuoned my penchant for cosmetics and perfume....I've always wanted a bottle of Clive...

Aside from my eyebrows and head, I have no desire to deal with hair on my body...so maybe Santa will splurge and send me here for electrolsys. Good by razor, waxing and threading!

http://www.spagregories.com/sptrts/hair_rem.shtml

Come on Santa, I've been mostly good.

You know you

have finally become a Southern Californian when you are on the freeway and pissed because the car in front of you is going too G-d damned slow and you want to ram into their car in rage and you glance at your odometer and find that you are going 80 and think the speed limit of 65 is a joke.

I have lived here about 7 years, and I can now claim residency.

No makeup? Oh, really....?

So I use this face stuff called "Make Up Optional" by Philosophy. It's supposed to make me age more slowly (ha!), and be perfectly happy without make up. Make up is my crutch. I love it and feel quite grown up with it on. But this morning as I washed my face (you rub the soap on dry skin for 30 seconds and then rinse off, put on a cream, then applied a serum (things that sound medical must work better, right?), then applied lotion, and then spot treated places of future wrinkles, added sunscreen, and finally put on Smashbox's photo finisher, when suddenly it hit me. Sure I might be going without make up, but by now I have 6 layers of cosmetics on my face before touching make up. Make Up Optional? I think I should call it flesh optional.



Of course I'm a product junkie and quite addicted to my six layers...

I Hate the Holidays

1. I bought the girl plastic crap. Plastic crap is stuff that kids think is interesting and an hour after using it, it's never touched again. Stupid i-dog.
2. After buying the plastic crap I realized she needs an mp3 player. I can't find a refurbished shuffle so now I'm off to searching for an easy to use, cheap, and non Disney mp3.
3. The boy's flute. I'm still hurting over a 2,000 dollar Christmas. I keep telling myself it's 2 Christmases and one birthday...but STILL it's tough to swallow.
4. I have no tree. I feel like I'm a slacker. Am I the only mom who has a subcompact? Who doesn't live to set up a nativity scene or what to hang lights (I keep thinking there are SPIDERS in the shrubs).
5. Holiday pictures. I normally take them and make a card. It's stinkin' adorable. But I haven't been able to pin down 3-4 hours with both kids. And the clock is ticking!
6. The girl's other present needs batteries and an SD card. Not tragic, just another thing for the list.
7. I have one sort of sexy fun dress and two parties in a row. I do not want to go shopping again. I guess at one of them I'll just have to not look sexy-fun. Again not tragic, just stating the facts.
8. I have to go in the garage. Another spider habitat. And pull out holiday decorations. And replace items that are broken. I just can't bare to think of the lights. I hate dealing with lights.
9. Getting the tree in the house. Getting it in and straight is something that makes me cry for the father in "A Christmas Story".
10. Wrapping gifts. I wish I grew up where Santa just threw the toys on the floor. Instead, I come from wrapping paper stock. While I hate wrapping, I can't break from tradition.
11. Come on...a wii? I know. Every year, I need to want something impossible.

The gift for the person who has EVERYTHING

I was given this link a couple weeks ago and think it's a clever item. I mean a millionaire or the guy next door would appreciate it's kitchiness and individuality. It's where function meets art. It reminds me of Happy Day's when Mr. C. or Fred Flinstone would leave for a lodge meeting. So throw on a smoking jacket and silk pajamas and stop by and tell them who sent you.

http://www.fez-o-rama.com/fez_buy.htm

The Boy's Theory

Soda is on sale - buy 2 cases get 3 cases free. So I bought some diet ginger ale to use as mixers and regular ginger ale for the kids as 'a once in awhile' beverage. I bought a case for a friend who was looking for cranberry Sierra Mist.

So I told the boy (who was SHOCKED to see soda in the house) how little it cost and he said, "Mom it's only cheap because milk prices are rising". To be honest, I have not noticed, the price I pay is the same price I've paid for years - the organic stuff is always $6 per gallon. He said the price of the regular milk is inflating quickly and parents are giving their kids less milk and replacing it with soda, because it's cheaper.

Now, parents can take away the milk, see their kids face light up and feel okay about saving a couple dimes. So I asked him "Water is almost free - why not just serve water?", and he said, "Because then you feel like your denying your kid, and then the soda company gains a lifelong customer".

I love that at 14, he already has conspiracy theories.

The Golden Compass

I finally saw the movie! I went with a friend and the girl. The boy was to come but had a change of plans. The movie felt like the book on speed. The director tried to get the entire book into the time of a show and it just didn't work. However, the costumes are gorgeous, red eyes and all Nicole Kidman is just a beautiful woman. The movie makes me want to put my hair up in a 40's style and throw on my false eyelashes (I bought them a couple years ago and lost the reason to wear them).

The worst part of the movie was the credit music. Since when does the credit music sing about the movie? "Oh, Lyra and her soul?" *barf* It ended at an earlier place than the book as well - like they ran out of money to do the ending sequence and are hoping to pull off the second book next winter.

The armored bears, well - Iorek was sexy for a polar bear.

The girl liked the movie enough. She watched it while hanging, flipping, and crawling on the railing. We go to the first showing for a reason.

An Boy Update

I haven't mentioned the boy for awhile. He is busy, busy, busy. He has a steady girlfriend now and spends every minute he can on the phone with her or with her and sometimes with his friends. I knew it was coming, but I miss him!

As I was dropping him off at her house this morning I told him "Be good!" and he dropped his voice and raised an eyebrow and said "Oh I'm good...very good!". I smacked him and he laughed and said I started it. Still it unnerves me.

I also brought up safe sex but found myself feebly saying at the end, so if you have sex, make sure to use an condom that is NEW and, and, and, and, don't have sex. Yeah, I'm really smooth...

Anyway, we spent the afternoon looking at his Christmas present. His present costs a little less than my first car. It's a flute. A $1,990 flute. I am so grateful I can get it for him, but I'm also shocked by how much it costs. I know it will serve him through college, but still... he did say he'd really like a bass flute and it's double what the new flute costs and I laughed and said, "Honey, that will be something you can save for on your own."

So, that is my boy update.

Scratch out the Cat

The girl woke up with hives from head to toe.

Cat Saga Continued...

So the girl and I went to see the cats. They are rescued cats and we are looking for an older cat (7 months and older). She was so good with them - we were in a room with about 6 cats and they were really funny. Then I got interesting news...they are requiring 2 cats to be adopted for the price of one. So here I am on the fence trying to decide if I want one cat and they are saying no single adoptions, I would have to consider two cats.

I really liked a couple of the cats. They were fun, fat and affectionate. But by the time we were done "looking" I was covered with cat hair and the smell of cat was giving me a headache. I am going to have to think this over. I like NOT smelling cat and I like being animal hair free.

I am thinking I would be happier finding a wii.

I think God I'm not in Florida

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-1207foodforgrades,0,6755258.story



So - if kids don't do well in school,then the message is:

And to the whiny mom who doesn't want to be the bad guy...That is your JOB!.

And I consider it a job perk.

Liars

I love a good liar. One who can bs the night away with a great grin and lots of laughter cuz they know that you know it's all in fun.

But on the other hand, I want to hate the liar who lies with kisses and tenderness. Nothing is worse than someone who pretends so well that you believe the intimacy is more than sex.

I've decided I now despise the good Dr. McDreamy. He stood there last night making sad puppy dog eyes at a woman who loves him...who he said he loves and then kissed someone else. But do not worry Doctor Dear, she has fond memories of the past and memories that will never allow her to feel the same way about you ever again. With one kiss, it's over.

Women prefer a man of action. Not one who just stands there with sad eyes and pity.

Maybe I should stick with not watching television it makes me feel quite . . . not nice.

Meow!

I'm not a pet person. However, I can be persuaded to be a "giver" and the girl has been dreaming about cats since she could tell me her dreams. She draws them, asks for stuffed cats, plastic cats, writes about cats, and searches out cats.

So I am considering getting her a cat. I know, I know, it's insane. One more thing to add to my overflowing plate. But it seems to be the time. The furniture is old and can't possibly get ruined, the carpets are clean, and she is old enough to put a scoop of cat food in a dish.

I cringe thinking that my clothing is going to become hair covered and that everything may smell of cat. And the litter box... oh yuck.

But to see the girl's face light up, well it might, just might be worth it.

Let Us Never Mention This Again...

I have the crappy part of my job that I enhance with certain freedoms. My last boss was more hands on, but my current supervisor never bothers me as long as my job is done well.

So I work in this private walkway for about an hour. Normally, I am the only person there. So I'm doing this job that requires no thought and I bring in music to occupy my mind. So it's just me and David Bowie and some Bare Naked Ladies, working and dancing and singing. Yes, that's right...it really is only me there. I am quite uninhibited when I'm alone.

Only this time...I wasn't alone. I don't know how long he was standing there. We stared at each other for a couple seconds (I wanted the earth to swallow me whole).

Then we pretended it never happened and talked shop.

Maybe next month, I'll turn the music down...

Quiz Results

My girlfriend keeps me in the loop by sending my lots of forwarded emails. I rarely ever take the quizzes, but this simple file was interesting - it must be old to be in excel...anyway here are the results of my personality quiz. It could be anyone right? I mean loves abstract and reality...is there anything else? :P

* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside

Gym Rat

I work out. 3-4 days a week - not enough to "do anything" but enough for me to drop comments like "Yesterday at the gym..." or "Oh I can't, I have to be at the gym". I like when I'm there and all thoughts leave me except "How many miles?" or "3 sets of 10 or 2 sets of 15?". I don't think about kids, work, my hair - I'm blank for 45 minutes.

I wear terrible workout clothes - lime green, tee shirts that were free advertising, bright shoes and get this, sometimes I wear a scrunchie. *gasp*

I do a cardio for 30 and one weight circuit, or 45 on cardio. I love weights. I wish I was ripely like this:

But I'm sure it takes more than three hours a week. So I get sweaty and drink water and feel for just a couple minutes as though I can run a marathon. Then I remember a marathon is 26 miles and I just about die laughing.

A Meme Virgin

Lol - Moooog35 tagged me and after a quick google search to see what it means, here I go:


The rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.


2. Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old, what would you write to yourself?


3. Tag 5 people to do this blog

J and C and Me

nouveausoccermom

Life of a Valley Girl

Elise

Adventures with Gretchen

At thirteen I was clueless (and not in the cool Cher and Dion way). I wore dresses and wrap around skirts and pumps to school. I owned no jeans, no shorts, no tee shirts. I had hair that was one length down to my butt. In other words, I was a dork who was sarcastic and read walking through the halls.


Dearheart,


This is your 30ish self telling you to buy some Guess? jeans and guess tees. Why? Wake up - you are the only person who is NOT wearing them. Oh and tennis shoes. Please, buy some tennis shoes. And never ever wear a collared shirt - that pink collared shirt with paramecium all over is NOT cool. It never was cool and it will never be cool. Throw it away. Do not - I repeat - do not wear it for picture day.


Cut the hair. Long butt length hair is only sexy on super models. On you, it looks like your mom cut it on the back lawn. Oh wait, she did. Insist on getting it cut by someone with a license. Take up ballet. You really like it and took it at 17, and at 13, you'll like it even more. Don't get me wrong - you look great in high school, you just need a little push to get "with it" earlier.


Boys. Some are really amazing. The ones who don't care about the pink shirt, who know you are silly, who really care about you, who sing your name song playing the guitar under the stars, keep in touch with them. Don't run from the ones who are good for you.


You will have two job offers at 16. Pick the Dairy Queen. Yes, the other job is glamorous, but a 16 year old should not have a glamorous job. DQ will suck and you'll really want to finish school, finish college. Do not look for Mr Right. There isn't one. Date boys your own age. Scorn the older men who ask you out. There are laws about this. Follow them. Choose a spouse that loves you more than himself. He won't care that you are wearing shorts with surfing bunnies on them (please don't wear these any where outside of the house, this is just an example) in public.


It's okay to be good at stuff. And somethings are hard, hard is okay too - don't run from hard.


Don't waste money. Spend it on land. Scarlett O'Hara's father is right, "Why, land's the only thing in the world worth working for...".


Spend more time with your mom. High school is incredibly busy and you just eat and sleep at home. Carve out time for your mom.


Your 30ish self is happy. You have two amazing kids. Your heart is open-not broken, cold or hard, you are optimistic, fun, and enthusiastic. You take delight in new experiences and friends.

Go to all of the parties you are invited to, have fun, and take care of yourself.


Love,


M

I recieved an early Christmas gift!

This morning I found a wrapped bottle of Absinthe and a note for me reading "premature Christmas gift". Thank you darling friend! It also came with some coconut body butter.

Quite curious about the curiosity.

Not updating with details

I do have one tidbit to share...
Cognac tastes like sex feels.
And that is all the sharing I'm going to do.

Ready for the party...!

All I need now is a nap and I'll be ready to go.



I have the gift...

Absolut in a disco ball case




I have the dress...

black, sleevless, with a tiny bit of sparkle



And the shoes...

black heels (of course)


Hopefully, I'll make it to church tomorrow.

I have tried posting pictures but for some odd reason it's not working...I'll try again later.

All I could get was...

I don't normally show pic's of this side. I have a scar that shows most from this angle. Hopefully, the pearly whites will distract you. Hummm....I think the lipstick is too pink alone. I didn't leave the house with it on - I added a copper. And maybe I need to learn "party" makeup...Most of the women had very artful makeup on.

I was startled

awake last night by of all things....rain.

I don't remember any rain since I started this blog - in September. I wanted to throw the house open to the rain, but instead I just listened as it hit the roof above me.

All of a sudden I feel more peaceful and relaxed. And also incredibly tired. I just realized I have been having less than 6 hours of sleep each night. Normally, I sleep 8 hours.

Today and tomorrow are just going to be some usualy events - work, gym, home, and then tomorrow I get my eyebrows threaded and find some thing to wear for the party. I am a little nervous about the party. I am more fun one on one or small group than in a really large group. And strangely, it will be my first party where everyone is about my age.

In Pursuit of Absinthe

When on vacation I came across a article about how certain forms of Absinthe are no longer banned in the US. I am not really a drinker, but I have become intensely interested in a beverage that is also called the Green Fairy, one that turns from a shimmering green to a milky white with a cube of sugar. And while my 6 percent alcohol drinks make me tipsy, these at almost 70 percent...well, it just sounds like a crazy thing to want.

Today, my friend and I decided to scope it out and found, it is all sold out. How odd is that? The only drink I'm curious about seems to be impossible to find.

I walked out with a bottle of vodka for the party that comes in a mirror ball case. Very disco and hopefully appropriate for a party gift.

When I do find the Green Fairy, here's to hoping it's at least a half a percent as interesting as it's mythology.

So I have finished the novel

And it was satisfying. It's effortless read, and it does come to a full circle. But I enjoyed how it occupied my mind and some of the phrases will stay in my mind long after the title has been forgotten. It is called The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. I think it's the perfect book for someone holed up during a winter storm or who just feels like they need a break from reality. So there, now you have the title and a review.

*just random thoughts*

I am so uncomfortable in my skin. Along with this weird feeling I have, I can feel everything that touches me. This heightened sense of feeling is just - distracting. Thank goodness, I picked soft clothing or it would be even worse. I'm hoping extra sleep this weekend settles me down.

Looking forward to a party this weekend. I love the people that invited me so I'm sure it will be fun and interesting. I will stay far from the karaoke - these families have professional singers in them. I don't want to be comic relief. I was told to bring my favorite drink. Hummm...

This unnamed book I'm reading is just fun. I start a paragraph and just fall into the story. It's effortless. I read until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Funny though, it has invaded my dreams, I can't remember the dreams, just vague images. As I read though and near the ending, it looks as though there are too many threads ending up in nice neat packages, so not a brilliant book, just a good story. So if you happen to have seen a woman getting gasoline and leaned against her car reading, that was probably me. I like books that pull me out of myself and into the words.

Crazy Days

Well I'm not sure if "crazy" is really how I feel. Just different. For a couple days a month, I feel odd. I'm not really a low key person, and for a couple days a month, I'm quite ... sassy. It's almost like I'm not quite myself.

I almost never drink, but found myself buying some cranberry juice and vodka. So I went home and made myself a small drink. The girl was asleep and the boy laughed at me. He laughs when he sees me have a drink because normally I'm quite proper. I felt like I needed to leave the house and just go out. I hate this anti-restful, dissatisfied state I find myself in.

I am reading a delightful little book. It sort enfolds the reader. I'll wait till the ending to share the title. If it ends badly I don't want anyone to waste their time. But so far, it is very charming.

What is restaurantfree.blogspot.com?

It is my attempt to simplify the budget so I can free up more money for local charities by avoiding all restaurants for one month. Feel free to take a peek and see how we do!

Photoshop is fun!

The girl and I played with some of the basic photo alterations and she decided she liked this one best...


She has amazing eyes, doesn't she?

Here she is unaltered....

Fur Undies

On vacation I bought these blankets - artificial down but they have an almost fur like covering. They are incredibly soft, warm, and cozy. For the first time I understood why people sleep nude. I never understood it before - if you have to use the restroom, you'd have to put on a cold robe and freeze to death on the way there. But I was sleeping with this new blanket and geeze it was soft. I announced to the kids the next morning I was going to buy a second one and cut a slit in the middle and wear it like a dress (I could belt it I'm sure).

They, of course, were horrified.

So I think the cavemen had it right... I can see how if PETA wasn't involved, how a mink lined bra and rabbit lined undies would be a HUGE seller. I always thought the whole bear skin in front of the fire thing was an old Hollywood cliche. Now I'm having serious doubts. I'm thinking it is the epitome of a perfect evening.

Vacation...

The entire trip seemed like I would have to cancel it. On Saturday morning, the girl work up crying about her ear hurting. Luckily her ped said to just bring her right to the office. After the ped looking too worried for this mom, that she didn't know what was wrong. She gave me an Rx for ear drops and said to continue the antibiotics. She said she had no idea what was wrong, but to keep an eye on her for swelling and infection(the pain wasn't in her ear, it was near the jaw bone). So by the time we were in the car it was late and we had a long uneventful drive.

We stayed with my grandma. She has a darling little house, a pretty garden and a little lap dog (as the girl pointed out, he looks like a sausage with tiny stick legs). We spent time with grandma, my aunts and their children.

Later in the week, the kids and I grabbed a map and went to Berkeley. We visited the Lawrence Hall of Science. Everyone should visit - even without children. The view is unparalleled. It sits on a hill and overlooks San Francisco. You can see all the bridges, Alcatraz, and, well, almost everything. One exhibit made a huge impression on me. There is this patio with viewing of the city. They have two rocks and every year move them closer together. Then you look over the water and it's exactly like and island and land. At the rate of 5 cm per year, the island is moving. It won't be visibly from than point in 40 years. I hope I'm lucky enough to visit again in 40 years to see how the island disappeared from view.

After the museum, we went up and over to the home of the Bruins. While we didn't have time to really explore much of the University, I did find a restaurant that my grandmother took me to when I was 16. Pretty impressive for a flighty mind! We found our way back to my grandmother's without stress. I'm finding that the freeways of Northern and Southern California are etching themselves into my mind and I am loosing all fear of getting lost.

The boy and male cousins all went to see Beowulf in 3d. None were impressed with much, except the slaughter of some serpent/dragon. My Aunt J and I had a nice walk on the water interspersed with the girl being joyful and a handful.

My cousin (almost a teenager herself!), spent the day with us and she was sweet and entertained the girl. Eventually she asked for a "project". So the she, the girl and the dog, went hunting for perfect leaves to wash and dry and decorate for the Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving is always one of those holidays that you prepare for the entire week, and it's over in an hour and this year was no exception. I was so blessed that all of my Aunties made it. Of course, I longed for my mom to be there... I can see bits and pieces of my mom in them, but I always long for the real thing. My Aunt C is always social and carries conversations so everyone feels instantly at ease, my Aunt D is careful, makes things beautiful and I have always thought quite brilliant, My Aunt J has a way about her that makes me feel like my mom's shadow is with her - mostly quite and especially gentle - there is a naiveté and sweetness. Maybe it's the color of her eyes... I think you always miss the ones you love even more during the holidays.

I have to laugh at how my grandmother and I settled into a routine. Every morning she would make coffee and pull out the paper. After she reads a section, I read it and comment on her small town news, then when the paper is done, she folds the crossword puzzle out and fold it just so. Then she goes to work. Eventually she puts it down and gets ready for the day and I try the puzzle. I almost always want to rip it to shreds and end up throwing it on the table. later in the day we both pick it up and put it down. Sometimes we get out crossword books (until last year I had no idea there were books made specifically for solving these puzzles). When on of the aunts comes over it's something they gravitate to and they also give it a try. One in particular is very gifted at it and FINISHES hers without the books or Internet. I know it sounds goofy, but I love the routine - even though not solving it makes me quite a spoiled brat.

Grandma's dog is a younger dog. But totally a personality. He loves the girl and would sit on her lap all day under a blanket if she could possibly sit still long enough. he roots around under the blanket like a little pig searching for truffles and then sighs and collapses with cozy joy.

I watched a lot of television - I'm not sure if I shared that I do not use cable - I just have broadcast television. So the whole cable thing is a novelty and from about 9pm-11pm, I'm hunting for shows on Bravo, food network or Turner classic movies. And the kids are exposed to Ben10 and Sponge bob in the morning. Last night, I saw part of Team America with the boy and ended up walking away at the puking scene...I think I had my annual fill of cable television. And thank God, he missed the sex scene. Somethings should NOT be seen with your mother.

It was hard to leave - there is no one like your grandmother, I'm beyond words to say how much I adore her. The drive home was hard hard hard! The girl suddenly became Chatty Kathy and said things like "Why would a bottle of water explode in the freezer? What if it was juice? Would soda explode more? Oh I know - I froze a glass of water one time!" and on and on.... the boy and I just started cracking up. She just kept going and going.

We finally hit the Grapevine and it was torture. Constant stop and go. Eventually, my calf, shoulders and hands were in pain. It took almost three hours to get from the top of the Grapevine to the 405. In the dark. Eventually I pulled out all the Cd's and made the kids sing Broadway musicals. I know, cruel punishment. But it is entertaining - for me. I love to sing and I am quite bad at it. I have all of the joy, but none of the talent. So Chicago, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Hairspray. By the time we got down I had moved onto oldies - Rod Stewart. I have a special affinity for Rod. It could be I was named after a song he sang, or because of the young man who played and sang Rod's songs on his guitar one summer night under the stars for me when I was a young girl... Rod put both children soundly asleep until we were almost home. Thank you, Rod Darling!

So now I have unpacking, laundry and a party to prepare for tomorrow. Maybe I will have less domestic topics for you all next week...

Home, Sweet Home!!!!

I just spent almost three hours on the Grapevine. I'll update with a real post tomorrow.

Vacation!

Oh, the fun! Oh, the joy!
I'm on vacation with a girl and boy!

Have some turkey,
Have a tater,
Happy Thanksgiving,
And see you later.

I hope I'm missed. I'm vain like that.

A Quickie

I am now officially not a blond or a brunette anymore. Happily, this month I'm...gingersnap. :D Fits the fall season. What do you think? I'll have to find time to take a better pic - excuse this one in my profile...I am without makeup aside from the lip gloss the girl put on me at the salon. I'm slightly uncomfortable without makeup.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I am a huge baby when it comes to needles. Which means, I have my wisdom teeth. Yes, I'm over 20 (lol) and have all of my teeth. No cavities (again because of my fear of needles I am very careful to floss and brush 2-3 times a day).

Now, just before vacation, one decides it's hates me. I want to bash it with a rock like Tom Hanks did in Castaway.

I promised my dentist a year ago I'd get it taken care of. Somewhere in this house I have my x-rays and a referral. But I just want to go on my trip and not have it throb for ten days.

Son of bitch. This REALLY sucks. Seven hours of driving two kids with a throbbing jaw. Surely, there must be an extract-it-yourself kit!

Mmmmm...

Nothing is nicer than hearing someone say, "I wanna buy you an ice cream." Maybe it's the kid in me - the incredible amount of choices of cold perfection on a stick. So, I chose a Haagen Dazs chocolate bar. Then I saw it, even better...coffee dipped in chocolate and rolled in almonds.

I feel so spoiled.

Tattoo?

I was recently asked if I have a tattoo and I told the truth and said no. When I was in high school tattoo's were a rose on an ankle and matched everyone else's. Later, girl's branched out and got tattoo's on their lower back - flowers, fairies, tribal designs etc.

So I have been thinking (can you tell I'm getting ready for Haight-Ashbury?) if I were to get one, what would it be? It would have to be water based, for some reason I'm at my most calm and reflective surrounded by the sea. Yes, there are times when I'm perfectly at rest and that is when my feet are on the damp sand.

I think that if I were to brave (and bare all) I would get mermaid scales. I came across this color plate the other night. It's from before the Little Mermaid was bastardized by the kind folks at Disney. I think I would like her scales.

Step #1 Get Naked

#2 Bring a knife into the bathroom
#3 Step into a warm shower
#4 Slice the fruit open and enjoy

There is seriously no better joy than a fresh perfect ripe pomegranate.

I was introduced to them as a small child. My mother loved them and she would have us strip to undies and stand outside on the patio and eat one until our fingers and mouth and chins were stained bright red. I never had any thought as to why Persephone ate six of the tiny seeds. How can you ignore their perfect jeweled selves?

As an adult, I have often thought that the smartest way to eat them was exactly how my mom had use eat them (and she got a solid 20 minutes of peace in the bargain). So now that it is fall, and the fruits are in perfect season, I needed a more grown up way to eat them.

So that brings us to:

Step #1  Get Naked

Obsessive to an Extreme

So....I know what I want for Christmas. Patrick Dempsey. Oh, he's busy? Committed? Then I get the perfect replacement. A Patrick Dempsey doll. Yes, be still my heart....

Does it get any better?

Weekend Checklist

• Lowe's for the girl to hammer and nail a Thanksgiving surprise.  They gave her an apron, patch and her own safety goggles She is SO thrilled to build with real tools.  If any tool savvy readers have suggestions on what Santa should get her aside from a hammer and nails. I'd love suggestions.
• Micheal's for her to make an autumn door hanger
• Lakeshore to make another craft
• Sakura Saku to split a salmon lunch with the girl
• Picked up the boy and went to the mall
• Had dinner at Ruby's
• Church, once again I loved the pastor's sermon.  I feel like a better person for 15 minutes a week.  I always think, this week I will be a better person, but then things go so fast during the week I find it's Sunday again, and I'm till just the same old person who is back to thinking they want to be a better person.  I wish I was one of those people who are naturally good, kind, and godly.  But I'm just not.
• Lunch at Flamebroiler
• Grocery shopping
• Baking cornbread for an event
• Baking a pumpkin spice cake for another event
• Cooking dinner (I know you were wondering if I ever eat at home) Grilled flank steak marinated in lemon juice, cilantro, jalapenos, diced roasted potatoes with onions and a Greek salad
• Clean up the house for the week and pack up school stuff for the girl.

If anyone is bored, there are some ants wandering the downstairs bathroom.  I can't figure out where they are coming from as they appear drugged and just walk aimlessly about.  It's so disturbing, that we have been avoiding that room entirely.

I also didn't make it to a craft festival and *sob* I missed Brian Jacques.  I really wanted to see him again, he is so funny and even more so, sounds quite incredibly sexy with his accent.  I am distraught that I forgot about him.  

And now the weekend is over.  I will be at work tomorrow.  Yay!  

Not.

Do you have weekend plans?

I have a long weekend, the boy has a long weekend, but the girl has....SCHOOL!!!! Poor thing. I had thought her calendar had the day off but there in her folder was a notice that school is in session. So I think I will get up superly early and head to work so I can clean my office (it has become unbearable this month) and finish up a project. Then I will head home and take the boy out to lunch.

I had offered to drive him and his friends to see Beowulf in 3d (whilst I shopped) but he said it isn't cool if a mom drives. I told him "Sucks to be you, see it on a regular screen then and buy your own ticket". HA! Actually, I don't really care that I am not cool enough to drive, I just thought he has been working very hard and needed a reward. I tend to do a lot for the girl as she is almost like an additional appendage, and he is often just not there for me to lavish with attention. :-P

I will not have alone time this weekend, but I will drag the girl to see Martian Child (for ME) and the bookstore. I found a nice set of non fiction books for her to look over. It is difficult finding appropriate books for a 5 year old who reads at an older child's ability. Non fiction seems to just fit better.

We are making a couple surprises for the Thanksgiving holiday. Sssh, don't tell!

More Kid Talk!

Last night, I was putting the girl to bed and she asked for me to tell her a story. I took a breath and she said it had to be about a girl conductor of an orchestra. So I told her a story and she APPLAUDED when I was done. I have never had applause at the end of a made up story before last night.

She is just five, but keeps a blank journal beside the bed. Whenever the mood strikes her, she adds a couple sentences and a picture. Sometimes we write and draw together or leave each other messages. I think I will commit the story to paper and see if it becomes just as well received.

Which reminds me of where my life should have taken me....at about 8, I decided to become a writer and live in a garret-like apartment in New York City. I had planned on starving and writing novels and exploring every inch of New York on foot. Instead, I'm working a mindless sort of job, doing mindless sorts of things. So not where I thought I would be.

I do hope I'm equipping my children to follow their craziest desires.

Mommy Mode

I feel like I have been in "mommy mode" for too many days straight. I love being "mom", but sometimes I just keep going and going and forget I have pieces of me that aren't being fulfilled or I don't even know what isn't being filled. Between kid's parties and chauffeuring kids around town I didn't even realize I have not even read a book for myself in weeks until today.

Saturday, both kids were gone and I was alone for two hours. You would think I had a list activities of grown up fun ready to go. Instead, I felt lost and sad so I called my grandmother who pretty much laughed at me. I was calling her from a dark library parking lot with expired books in the trunk.

So, I went to the outdoor mall to kids stores and the bookstore. Just pathetic really. I ended up buying a crazy Halloween Felix inspired ceramic cat head. Even more pathetic. I was thrilled when the party mom called me to pick her up a little early. MOST pathetic is I was already driving there. Who doesn't know what to do with themselves for two hours? Who buys giant ceramic Felix the Cat inspired heads?

So in true mom fashion, I refuse to be caught in that predicament again. I'm going to have to come up with five things to do if I have no kids for two hours and report back with the results. I think they have to be places where kids are not even allowed to enter...I'll list them from common places to those I'd be embarrassed to be caught alone in....

1. See an R rated movie. I have not seen a rated r movie in a theater in over 15 years.
2. Call a friend and have them teach me card games at a bar.
3. Call a friend who has no kids to meet me at a restaurant bar.
4. Go to a bar alone for a drink (do women even GO to bars to be alone)?
5. Hit an adult store and pretend to be very savvy.

Maybe I'll just go to Sephora to play with make up. *sob* It should NOT be this hard!

I'm feeling like I need the *mostest pathetic award ever* to have 3 things on my list of five items that involve drinking.

I Can't Stop Watching...Why?

Aside from Dr McDreamy being dreamy... I HATE the fact that I feel as messed up as Meredith. She has the perfect man in her life (and bed, lol) and she cannot let it be perfect. Fine, I get it. I really do get it. I can even forgive the character and call it a plot twist.

But what bothers me are the lines she says, that I have said or written. It is seriously so unsettling that I don't think I can watch anymore. It's bad enough to watch my own life in real life but to have to see scene's replayed on a screen really, really, sucks.

As Dr Grey says, "It's not about the sex, it's not. It's about that moment afterward, when the world stops. You just feel so safe. I'm not ready to give that up".

I suppose the therapeutic part of watching this weak, sad, pathetic situation is that you realize, the man has nothing to do with it. It's just a bunch of brain chemicals.

In a way, it's liberating.

Ahoy there, Matey!

Guess who won first place in the costume contest??? Rrrrrrr, little Captain Hook!


She just proves, being the bad guy can be a LOT of fun. It was so funny seeing all the little Peter Pan's reaching for their daggers when she walked by, and seeing her raise her hook and give them the evil eye.