Friday, January 25, 2008

Rain, Flash Floods, Toronados, Oh My!

Just last week it was in the 70's and now, we have weather. Weather is a novelty to most Southern Californians (and my home state AZ). We appreciate a little rain, a bit of fog, and of course take for granted wearing tee shirts and flip flops year round.

But give more than some sprinkles and we are seriously impaired. Freeways are at a stand still, we hurl curses at idiots that "don't know how to drive in the rain" as we hit storm drains filled with water at 50mph and think "Phew! Didn't see that one coming!". We insist on driving through washes and being rescued by helicopter and insist it was just a little water, I was SURE I could make it .

We are simply weather stupid. Before my fair weather com padres get upset, I mean really, think about it...our weather man is named Dallas Raines. He sports suits made for gangsters (the old fashioned kind - not "gangstas"), a bright orange tan and Da Vinci veneers. And you know he is totally guessing. How hard is it to say, it's going to be sunny and 70 degrees 300 days a year?

This my friends, is Dallas Raines

People on the street are interviewed (weather makes the top news story) "I see it's raining and you are wearing flip flops...are you getting wet?". Uh, ya think?

Don't get me wrong, I own an umbrella, it's just it was broken when I let the kids use it this summer in the sprinklers. I never thought I would actually need it.

Lovingly yours,

Queen of Weather Stupid (who is simply bitter because she dried and styled her hair only to have it get wet and look like shit on her way into the office and she finally remembered what happened to her umbrella.)


TED VELVET said...

the weather is the worst part of the news and my wife is addicted to it. I'm always saying, honey, it's winter in new england, it's fucking cold out.turn the fucking channel

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

Ha! It's all poorly scripted entertainment.

Scott said...

In nearby Charlotte NC one of the local stations' meteoroligist is named Larry Sprinkle. Must be Raines' poor cousin.

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

Mr Sprinkle sounds just terrible. :P

Jake said...

I live in LA too....the first time I saw Dallas Raines, I seriously thought he was part of an SNL sketch...ridiculous sounding, horrible tan..and just one of those guy's you'd really like to just punch in the face :)