Sunday, December 30, 2007

When I grow up....

My friend and I were talking and I realized that I don't think I will ever grow up to be a mature completely grounded person. I will never fit in as sophisticated and recently, I realized I don't want to. I am quite content to be silly, pretend the snow foam is real snow, and believe in true love.

For over half my life I wanted to be a grown up, never quite realized when being a grown up had happened, and now at 34, I've decided being an adult isn't a ticket to automatically being a member of the cool and cultured adult world. Instead, I'm an observer and mostly a comrade to babies, tots, young adults and those who have lived much longer. I will never learn to contain my wise arsed remarks, I'll continue to put my foot in my mouth, and flirt and tease with careless abandonment.

I'll keep my hair in colors not found in the natural world, wear necklines that are too low and heels that are too high, and sometimes, I'll throw my hair in a pony tail and sleep in and stay up too late. I will continue to laugh too loud, and experience everything for the first time all over again.

I am looking forward with anticipation and excitement for a breathlessly exciting 2008.

Friday, December 28, 2007

*~Friends~*

I had a friend over for dinner. I love having people over; I should do it more often. We lit candles in the fireplace, set some throughout the house and table, and plugged in the tree.

We grilled on the patio, had a few drinks (note to self - never buy raspberry vodka again), had ice cream and played some games. The wii is a lot of fun - you can have a lot of ages playing together. While the games aren't groundbreaking, it is nice not having to push 6 controller buttons.

Just a bit ago we said goodbye and the house felt bigger and quieter. I like being around people. Off to blow out the candles...

Thursday, December 27, 2007

a call from heaven?

I've written that my mom died about three years ago. So I'm at work and hear a vibration. Cool - it's my phone, so I pick it up and see who is calling.

I don't screen calls, I'm just curious. So I look at the caller and it says..."Mom". I didn't have a cellphone three years ago.

So a rush of emotions fall over me. I always miss my mom, but just seeing "Mom" in print sort of rips my heart out all over again.

Then I glance at the number. My home phone? Mom? My house?

Then it hits me. I grabbed my son's phone by mistake on my way out the door today.

Not a haunted phone at all, just a frantic teen removed from his lifeline, and once again it is I who am "Mom".

Snow Day!

Alright, there isn't any snow on the coast, however, it was cold (39 degrees was the low) to the quick this morning and I could see the mountains clearly braced against a perfect delphinium blue sky. It isn't often that the air feels clean enough to bathe in.

I relished the heat in my car and contemplated a run for coffee on my way in this morning and then thought "Run? hummmm....I should take up running again".

I'll never be a fast runner, I tend to just sort of plod along and think happy thoughts or no thoughts at all. But it's quite an exhilarating feeling, there are beautiful coastal areas with good paths.

It would be engaging to pick up a hobby with a runner's club. I have an old contact that should be able to give me the information and set me up.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Dearest Readers

You ever have a revelation? I have figured out that everything I experience has my perspective on it, and that because I am an optimist most of the experiences I have had, are positive and wonderful. But what happens when you learn that your point of view is heavily skewed and distorted?

That is when you have a revelation and learn that something you thought was delightful was really just, well, not positive and wonderful. In fact, bordering on disturbing...

So as I think this over, I have decided to not trust my experiences of the past, and simply reach for a future where I am happy and content.

If you have read all this, I will say that reading people's blogs shows the part of a person that is probably more their real inner selves or the self they want people to see than the person they share with people in their everyday life. Even fictional accounts take a kernel of truth into them.

I am grateful for all of the people who read blogs, and more importantly for me, reading the these blogs keep my heart and mind filled with humor, kindness, and truth about humanity. So keep writing!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Some tree pictures...

Photobucket

This is the full tree, doesn't the angel look a little cramped?

Photobucket

Here is is a little more close up.

This is the biggest tree I've set up. You can tell that even with the step ladder I wasn't able to really decorate the top portion. I'm sad to only have it up for the week. next year I'm going to have to use a list and chck off items on a schedule.

Monday, December 24, 2007

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Reindeer food. It's a little plastic bag kids get from school filled with uncooked oatmeal and glitter. You're supposed to throw it on the lawn/sidewalk on Christmas Eve so that Santa can find you're house more easily and the reindeer get a snack.

Sounds completely innocent, right?

While I was at the store, the girl fell asleep and when I got home, I woke her up so she could throw this reindeer food outside and put a cookie for Santa by the fireplace. She quickly falls back asleep and all is well.

Once the house is quiet, I decide to grab gifts out of my car. I step outside and literally run into an opossum. I don't know who is scared more shitless. It books it into the shrubs and I was just frozen. Front door wide open.

On instinct, I ran into the house like a crazy woman for a broom and swept that crap up as quickly as I could. I feel like throwing up. It could have run into the house. I would have had a mini death over something like that.

In the future, the reindeer can STARVE.

Santa needs some tequila for her nerves...

Who know Christmas could be so hard?

Off to figure this shuffle out...

Downside of a Christian Education

So we crammed in all the pre-holiday festivities into 48hours. Last minute shopping, cooking, baking, wrapping, and we get home and collapse.

I told the kids I had to run to the grocery store for a couple items and the little one pipes up "Don't forget to get stuff for the cake!!!" Huh? Cake? Who is baking a cake?

"Mom, you have to bake a cake for Jesus!" Who does this, and why don't they tell me weeks ago? Don't I get to decide family traditions?

But looking into her great eyes filled with visions of a baby in a manger, I melt and decide to hit up a bakery.

I hope Baby Jesus likes carrot cake.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Green Eyed Monster

My little one is experiencing terrible jealousy pains. The boy has had is girlfriend over and the girl tries her hardest to sit between them or prevent her brother from getting anywhere near her or even hates to leave them alone together. I caught her standing in his doorway playing her DS game refusing to move or look at them.

Even strangers are not safe. A young couple was sitting in a local restaurant (girl on his lap) and she went over and sat at their table staring at them with huge eyes. The stranger girl got a little nervous and asked the girl if she wanted them to leave. She refused to answer and I had to call her over.

Tonight, at the mall, the boy put his arm around his girlfriend and the girl could not squeeze between them so I saw her finally just give up and she walked with her arm around his girlfriend too.

She has put aside the jealousy and has now claimed his girlfriend to be her new best friend and that they are a "girl's only" club so he cannot sit with them.

It is probably the first time the girl has not been the center of attention. Even at school, she is always in charge of a group of kids, having them play her games, stories, and inventions. It is fascinating watching her solve her problem.

Friday, December 21, 2007

O' Holy Night!

I have the most dear friend. She knows just how crazy, compulsive, angry, and confused I am and she STILL chooses to be wonderful to me. I've had lots of close friends who sort of freak out and just leave. People seem to expect more of me than I can give and she expects nothing.

Anyway, she asked if I had lunch plans and I said yup, I need a tree. I have one of the smallest sub compacts and no roof rack. And there are four days till Christmas. We checked out the trees but most were 12 feet or more but to the side was a pile of trees wrapped in twine. We were starting to see what they looked like by standing the upright and were told they were mystery trees. You can't open them up until you buy one.

We looked at each other and grabbed one. I thought it was about 6 feet tall. They trim the bottom, put it on a shaker and tied it on my car. We drove to the house and rolled it off the roof. It was HEAVY. We drag it to the house and stand it up. Only it won't stand without gauging the popcorn ceiling. It's about 8 inches too tall. Unable to deal with it, we stuck it in a pot of water. We were laughing so hard.

So tonight, the girl watched while I trimmed off a bit from the top and got it in a stand and set it up. I put tons of lights and it is just beautiful. All of the lights are frosted and there are regular style, little pearls and big pearls. I have about 600 more lights I could add but I'm too tired to keep climbing the ladder to reach the top.

My hands hurt, they are cut up and have sap stuck on them, I'm still sick, but I'm so happy the job is done and it is the prettiest thing you have ever seen. The boy is cleaning the house tomorrow - floors, mirrors, dusting, putting movies away and organizing. I think he should invite his friends over more often.

Now, all I need to do is plan Christmas Day dinner. I have an idea about serving crab and prime rib, but I have never cooked either. It's on my mind though... Traditionally, Christmas Eve is simply pizza for us.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

This is why I went home...

At 2:30am I was woken up. I tried to go back to sleep and just had this thought...bathroom. Finally it hit me. Yesterday, I had to make some important copies for work. So I made them and forgot to deliver the originals.

So I left my office a second time with them in hand.

I decided to make a quick stop to the ladies room and there were a lot of women there who are not with our company. So instead of leaving the papers on the counter, I brought them in with me. They are tiny stalls so I shoved them in where the toilet seat covers are and did my thing.

I left the ladies room and went back to work.

I never got the documents out of the seat cover thing.

It's bad enough explaining how I lost them HERE.

Imagine telling my boss. As I was explaining, he got so flustered and uncomfortable, it made the entire situation worse.

It was the walk of shame.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

And I Am Still So Busy!

My workload is just crazy right now and it doesn't help that I have succumbed to the illness the boy's girl shared with him, so I probably won't be able to write a daily update until the first of the year. It makes me sad - this blog is very good for me.

The other downfall was Friday night. The girl and I ended up at the mall to get a birthday gift and we decided on Webkinz. The girl started to cry,"I've ALWAYS wanted a charcoal cat!" and she has these amazing giant brown eyes that began to fill quickly with tears.

I was so very, very tired - it was almost 9 and I still had so much to do, so I caved. That is what happens to a woman who is exhausted and just wanting to leave the mall without a scene. I bought one for her and one for her friend.

So now I'm addicted, like a ho to meth. I ask people, Oh if you're going to the Hallmark store I need a cow - I mean my daughter needs the cow...and can you check out the charms? Here's a list of the ones I don't need - I mean she doesn't need".

Ack! I have successfully avoided my obsessive compulsive behavior for a couple of months (oh shut up, the Huell thing does NOT count). And besides, I mean the obsessive-compulsive thing that I can live on for years...

Okay, I'm off to read my favorite blogs. Thank you so much for reading!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Oh Dear!

Work is stacked up to my eyeballs and I have 2 parties to attend today, so I won't be able to read or update today.

The weekend in brief:
  • took the girl to a party where she learned to ice skate
  • froze my ass off at the aforementioned party
  • drank egg nog
  • stayed in pajamas from 8pm Sat till this morning. Yes, the same pair. :-O
  • the boy is sick
  • had two cocktails and went to bed
Exciting!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Field Trip

So yesterday, I asked my coworkers if they wanted to jaunt up to Montebello with me during lunch. They are incredulous and said it was a very long drive. Being the google map queen, I point out that we are here and about only 5 inches away is Montebello. They scoff.

Finally one asks, "WHY do you want to go to Montebello?" Knowing that "Cuz I've never been" isn't going to work on Miss Logic, I spilled it. "Because I want Broguiere's Egg Nog and Huell Howser hangs out there".

I hang my head in shame. I have a closet crush on Huell. I mean goodness have you seen this man's hands?????

This morning I come in and she had bought me 2 bottles of Broguiere's from her local gourmet market. So I'm swigging this stuff and just a little sad that it wasn't accompanied by a hug from Huell and the line, "That's amazing!". Cuz, when he says it, I believe it.

My Christmas List

A week at the Golden Door Spa. I love spa's. My favorite is a deep massage, hot stones, lots of oil and a silent masseur. Just the big hands, no talking. My most unusual treatment has been a vichy shower. It's a 'wet' treatment. You lie nekkid, covered with a couple towels on this cushy table in a tiled room and someone comes in and uses these shower heads with about 7 jets and scrubs and rubs your body till it glows. Something strange and delightful about having someone bath you. So seven days of bliss.



A horse. I grew up in AZ near an Arabian horse farm. I've always wanted a horse of my own. I would end up paying to ride at the stables.


A throw to line my world with fur...(yes folks, it's faux chinchilla)

I've already mentuoned my penchant for cosmetics and perfume....I've always wanted a bottle of Clive...



Aside from my eyebrows and head, I have no desire to deal with hair on my body...so maybe Santa will splurge and send me here for electrolsys. Good by razor, waxing and threading!



Come on Santa, I've been mostly good.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

You know you

have finally become a Southern Californian when you are on the freeway and pissed because the car in front of you is going too G-d damned slow and you want to ram into their car in rage and you glance at your odometer and find that you are going 80 and think the speed limit of 65 is a joke.

I have lived here about 7 years, and I can now claim residency.

No makeup? Oh, really....?

So I use this face stuff called "Make Up Optional" by Philosophy. It's supposed to make me age more slowly (ha!), and be perfectly happy without make up. Make up is my crutch. I love it and feel quite grown up with it on. But this morning as I washed my face (you rub the soap on dry skin for 30 seconds and then rinse off, put on a cream, then applied a serum (things that sound medical must work better, right?), then applied lotion, and then spot treated places of future wrinkles, added sunscreen, and finally put on Smashbox's photo finisher, when suddenly it hit me. Sure I might be going without make up, but by now I have 6 layers of cosmetics on my face before touching make up. Make Up Optional? I think I should call it flesh optional.



Of course I'm a product junkie and quite addicted to my six layers...

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I Hate the Holidays

1. I bought the girl plastic crap. Plastic crap is stuff that kids think is interesting and an hour after using it, it's never touched again. Stupid i-dog.
2. After buying the plastic crap I realized she needs an mp3 player. I can't find a refurbished shuffle so now I'm off to searching for an easy to use, cheap, and non Disney mp3.
3. The boy's flute. I'm still hurting over a 2,000 dollar Christmas. I keep telling myself it's 2 Christmases and one birthday...but STILL it's tough to swallow.
4. I have no tree. I feel like I'm a slacker. Am I the only mom who has a subcompact? Who doesn't live to set up a nativity scene or what to hang lights (I keep thinking there are SPIDERS in the shrubs).
5. Holiday pictures. I normally take them and make a card. It's stinkin' adorable. But I haven't been able to pin down 3-4 hours with both kids. And the clock is ticking!
6. The girl's other present needs batteries and an SD card. Not tragic, just another thing for the list.
7. I have one sort of sexy fun dress and two parties in a row. I do not want to go shopping again. I guess at one of them I'll just have to not look sexy-fun. Again not tragic, just stating the facts.
8. I have to go in the garage. Another spider habitat. And pull out holiday decorations. And replace items that are broken. I just can't bare to think of the lights. I hate dealing with lights.
9. Getting the tree in the house. Getting it in and straight is something that makes me cry for the father in "A Christmas Story".
10. Wrapping gifts. I wish I grew up where Santa just threw the toys on the floor. Instead, I come from wrapping paper stock. While I hate wrapping, I can't break from tradition.
11. Come on...a wii? I know. Every year, I need to want something impossible.

Monday, December 10, 2007

The gift for the person who has EVERYTHING

I was given this link a couple weeks ago and think it's a clever item. I mean a millionaire or the guy next door would appreciate it's kitchiness and individuality. It's where function meets art. It reminds me of Happy Day's when Mr. C. or Fred Flinstone would leave for a lodge meeting. So throw on a smoking jacket and silk pajamas and stop by and tell them who sent you.

http://www.fez-o-rama.com/fez_buy.htm

The Boy's Theory


Soda is on sale - buy 2 cases get 3 cases free. So I bought some diet ginger ale to use as mixers and regular ginger ale for the kids as 'a once in awhile' beverage. I bought a case for a friend who was looking for cranberry Sierra Mist.

So I told the boy (who was SHOCKED to see soda in the house) how little it cost and he said, "Mom it's only cheap because milk prices are rising". To be honest, I have not noticed, the price I pay is the same price I've paid for years - the organic stuff is always $6 per gallon. He said the price of the regular milk is inflating quickly and parents are giving their kids less milk and replacing it with soda, because it's cheaper.

Now, parents can take away the milk, see their kids face light up and feel okay about saving a couple dimes. So I asked him "Water is almost free - why not just serve water?", and he said, "Because then you feel like your denying your kid, and then the soda company gains a lifelong customer".

I love that at 14, he already has conspiracy theories.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Golden Compass

I finally saw the movie! I went with a friend and the girl. The boy was to come but had a change of plans. The movie felt like the book on speed. The director tried to get the entire book into the time of a show and it just didn't work. However, the costumes are gorgeous, red eyes and all Nicole Kidman is just a beautiful woman. The movie makes me want to put my hair up in a 40's style and throw on my false eyelashes (I bought them a couple years ago and lost the reason to wear them).

The worst part of the movie was the credit music. Since when does the credit music sing about the movie? "Oh, Lyra and her soul?" *barf* It ended at an earlier place than the book as well - like they ran out of money to do the ending sequence and are hoping to pull off the second book next winter.

The armored bears, well - Iorek was sexy for a polar bear.

The girl liked the movie enough. She watched it while hanging, flipping, and crawling on the railing. We go to the first showing for a reason.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

An Boy Update

I haven't mentioned the boy for awhile. He is busy, busy, busy. He has a steady girlfriend now and spends every minute he can on the phone with her or with her and sometimes with his friends. I knew it was coming, but I miss him!

As I was dropping him off at her house this morning I told him "Be good!" and he dropped his voice and raised an eyebrow and said "Oh I'm good...very good!". I smacked him and he laughed and said I started it. Still it unnerves me.

I also brought up safe sex but found myself feebly saying at the end, so if you have sex, make sure to use an condom that is NEW and, and, and, and, don't have sex. Yeah, I'm really smooth...

Anyway, we spent the afternoon looking at his Christmas present. His present costs a little less than my first car. It's a flute. A $1,990 flute. I am so grateful I can get it for him, but I'm also shocked by how much it costs. I know it will serve him through college, but still... he did say he'd really like a bass flute and it's double what the new flute costs and I laughed and said, "Honey, that will be something you can save for on your own."

So, that is my boy update.

Scratch out the Cat

The girl woke up with hives from head to toe.

Cat Saga Continued...

So the girl and I went to see the cats. They are rescued cats and we are looking for an older cat (7 months and older). She was so good with them - we were in a room with about 6 cats and they were really funny. Then I got interesting news...they are requiring 2 cats to be adopted for the price of one. So here I am on the fence trying to decide if I want one cat and they are saying no single adoptions, I would have to consider two cats.

I really liked a couple of the cats. They were fun, fat and affectionate. But by the time we were done "looking" I was covered with cat hair and the smell of cat was giving me a headache. I am going to have to think this over. I like NOT smelling cat and I like being animal hair free.

I am thinking I would be happier finding a wii.

Friday, December 7, 2007

I think God I'm not in Florida

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-1207foodforgrades,0,6755258.story



So - if kids don't do well in school,then the message is:

And to the whiny mom who doesn't want to be the bad guy...That is your JOB!.

And I consider it a job perk.

Liars



I love a good liar. One who can bs the night away with a great grin and lots of laughter cuz they know that you know it's all in fun.

But on the other hand, I want to hate the liar who lies with kisses and tenderness. Nothing is worse than someone who pretends so well that you believe the intimacy is more than sex.

I've decided I now despise the good Dr. McDreamy. He stood there last night making sad puppy dog eyes at a woman who loves him...who he said he loves and then kissed someone else. But do not worry Doctor Dear, she has fond memories of the past and memories that will never allow her to feel the same way about you ever again. With one kiss, it's over.

Women prefer a man of action. Not one who just stands there with sad eyes and pity.

Maybe I should stick with not watching television it makes me feel quite . . . not nice.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Meow!

I'm not a pet person. However, I can be persuaded to be a "giver" and the girl has been dreaming about cats since she could tell me her dreams. She draws them, asks for stuffed cats, plastic cats, writes about cats, and searches out cats.

So I am considering getting her a cat. I know, I know, it's insane. One more thing to add to my overflowing plate. But it seems to be the time. The furniture is old and can't possibly get ruined, the carpets are clean, and she is old enough to put a scoop of cat food in a dish.

I cringe thinking that my clothing is going to become hair covered and that everything may smell of cat. And the litter box... oh yuck.

But to see the girl's face light up, well it might, just might be worth it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Let Us Never Mention This Again...

I have the crappy part of my job that I enhance with certain freedoms. My last boss was more hands on, but my current supervisor never bothers me as long as my job is done well.

So I work in this private walkway for about an hour. Normally, I am the only person there. So I'm doing this job that requires no thought and I bring in music to occupy my mind. So it's just me and David Bowie and some Bare Naked Ladies, working and dancing and singing. Yes, that's right...it really is only me there. I am quite uninhibited when I'm alone.

Only this time...I wasn't alone. I don't know how long he was standing there. We stared at each other for a couple seconds (I wanted the earth to swallow me whole).

Then we pretended it never happened and talked shop.

Maybe next month, I'll turn the music down...

Quiz Results

My girlfriend keeps me in the loop by sending my lots of forwarded emails. I rarely ever take the quizzes, but this simple file was interesting - it must be old to be in excel...anyway here are the results of my personality quiz. It could be anyone right? I mean loves abstract and reality...is there anything else? :P

* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
* Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves entertainment and leisure
* Romantic on the inside not outside

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Gym Rat

I work out. 3-4 days a week - not enough to "do anything" but enough for me to drop comments like "Yesterday at the gym..." or "Oh I can't, I have to be at the gym". I like when I'm there and all thoughts leave me except "How many miles?" or "3 sets of 10 or 2 sets of 15?". I don't think about kids, work, my hair - I'm blank for 45 minutes.


I wear terrible workout clothes - lime green, tee shirts that were free advertising, bright shoes and get this, sometimes I wear a scrunchie. *gasp*


I do a cardio for 30 and one weight circuit, or 45 on cardio. I love weights. I wish I was ripely like this:



But I'm sure it takes more than three hours a week. So I get sweaty and drink water and feel for just a couple minutes as though I can run a marathon. Then I remember a marathon is 26 miles and I just about die laughing.


A Meme Virgin

Lol - Moooog35 tagged me and after a quick google search to see what it means, here I go:


The rules:

1. Link back to the person who tagged you.


2. Imagine you could send a letter back in time to yourself, when you were 13 years old, what would you write to yourself?


3. Tag 5 people to do this blog

J and C and Me

nouveausoccermom

Life of a Valley Girl

Elise

Adventures with Gretchen


At thirteen I was clueless (and not in the cool Cher and Dion way). I wore dresses and wrap around skirts and pumps to school. I owned no jeans, no shorts, no tee shirts. I had hair that was one length down to my butt. In other words, I was a dork who was sarcastic and read walking through the halls.


Dearheart,


This is your 30ish self telling you to buy some Guess? jeans and guess tees. Why? Wake up - you are the only person who is NOT wearing them. Oh and tennis shoes. Please, buy some tennis shoes. And never ever wear a collared shirt - that pink collared shirt with paramecium all over is NOT cool. It never was cool and it will never be cool. Throw it away. Do not - I repeat - do not wear it for picture day.


Cut the hair. Long butt length hair is only sexy on super models. On you, it looks like your mom cut it on the back lawn. Oh wait, she did. Insist on getting it cut by someone with a license. Take up ballet. You really like it and took it at 17, and at 13, you'll like it even more. Don't get me wrong - you look great in high school, you just need a little push to get "with it" earlier.


Boys. Some are really amazing. The ones who don't care about the pink shirt, who know you are silly, who really care about you, who sing your name song playing the guitar under the stars, keep in touch with them. Don't run from the ones who are good for you.


You will have two job offers at 16. Pick the Dairy Queen. Yes, the other job is glamorous, but a 16 year old should not have a glamorous job. DQ will suck and you'll really want to finish school, finish college. Do not look for Mr Right. There isn't one. Date boys your own age. Scorn the older men who ask you out. There are laws about this. Follow them. Choose a spouse that loves you more than himself. He won't care that you are wearing shorts with surfing bunnies on them (please don't wear these any where outside of the house, this is just an example) in public.


It's okay to be good at stuff. And somethings are hard, hard is okay too - don't run from hard.


Don't waste money. Spend it on land. Scarlett O'Hara's father is right, "Why, land's the only thing in the world worth working for...".


Spend more time with your mom. High school is incredibly busy and you just eat and sleep at home. Carve out time for your mom.


Your 30ish self is happy. You have two amazing kids. Your heart is open-not broken, cold or hard, you are optimistic, fun, and enthusiastic. You take delight in new experiences and friends.

Go to all of the parties you are invited to, have fun, and take care of yourself.


Love,


M

Monday, December 3, 2007

I recieved an early Christmas gift!

This morning I found a wrapped bottle of Absinthe and a note for me reading "premature Christmas gift". Thank you darling friend! It also came with some coconut body butter.

Quite curious about the curiosity.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Not updating with details

I do have one tidbit to share...
Cognac tastes like sex feels.
And that is all the sharing I'm going to do.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Ready for the party...!

All I need now is a nap and I'll be ready to go.



I have the gift...

Absolut in a disco ball case




I have the dress...

black, sleevless, with a tiny bit of sparkle



And the shoes...

black heels (of course)


Hopefully, I'll make it to church tomorrow.

I have tried posting pictures but for some odd reason it's not working...I'll try again later.

All I could get was...

I don't normally show pic's of this side. I have a scar that shows most from this angle. Hopefully, the pearly whites will distract you. Hummm....I think the lipstick is too pink alone. I didn't leave the house with it on - I added a copper. And maybe I need to learn "party" makeup...Most of the women had very artful makeup on.

Friday, November 30, 2007

I was startled

awake last night by of all things....rain.

I don't remember any rain since I started this blog - in September. I wanted to throw the house open to the rain, but instead I just listened as it hit the roof above me.

All of a sudden I feel more peaceful and relaxed. And also incredibly tired. I just realized I have been having less than 6 hours of sleep each night. Normally, I sleep 8 hours.

Today and tomorrow are just going to be some usualy events - work, gym, home, and then tomorrow I get my eyebrows threaded and find some thing to wear for the party. I am a little nervous about the party. I am more fun one on one or small group than in a really large group. And strangely, it will be my first party where everyone is about my age.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

In Pursuit of Absinthe

When on vacation I came across a article about how certain forms of Absinthe are no longer banned in the US. I am not really a drinker, but I have become intensely interested in a beverage that is also called the Green Fairy, one that turns from a shimmering green to a milky white with a cube of sugar. And while my 6 percent alcohol drinks make me tipsy, these at almost 70 percent...well, it just sounds like a crazy thing to want.

Today, my friend and I decided to scope it out and found, it is all sold out. How odd is that? The only drink I'm curious about seems to be impossible to find.

I walked out with a bottle of vodka for the party that comes in a mirror ball case. Very disco and hopefully appropriate for a party gift.

When I do find the Green Fairy, here's to hoping it's at least a half a percent as interesting as it's mythology.

So I have finished the novel

And it was satisfying. It's effortless read, and it does come to a full circle. But I enjoyed how it occupied my mind and some of the phrases will stay in my mind long after the title has been forgotten. It is called The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. I think it's the perfect book for someone holed up during a winter storm or who just feels like they need a break from reality. So there, now you have the title and a review.

*just random thoughts*

I am so uncomfortable in my skin. Along with this weird feeling I have, I can feel everything that touches me. This heightened sense of feeling is just - distracting. Thank goodness, I picked soft clothing or it would be even worse. I'm hoping extra sleep this weekend settles me down.

Looking forward to a party this weekend. I love the people that invited me so I'm sure it will be fun and interesting. I will stay far from the karaoke - these families have professional singers in them. I don't want to be comic relief. I was told to bring my favorite drink. Hummm...

This unnamed book I'm reading is just fun. I start a paragraph and just fall into the story. It's effortless. I read until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Funny though, it has invaded my dreams, I can't remember the dreams, just vague images. As I read though and near the ending, it looks as though there are too many threads ending up in nice neat packages, so not a brilliant book, just a good story. So if you happen to have seen a woman getting gasoline and leaned against her car reading, that was probably me. I like books that pull me out of myself and into the words.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Crazy Days

Well I'm not sure if "crazy" is really how I feel. Just different. For a couple days a month, I feel odd. I'm not really a low key person, and for a couple days a month, I'm quite ... sassy. It's almost like I'm not quite myself.

I almost never drink, but found myself buying some cranberry juice and vodka. So I went home and made myself a small drink. The girl was asleep and the boy laughed at me. He laughs when he sees me have a drink because normally I'm quite proper. I felt like I needed to leave the house and just go out. I hate this anti-restful, dissatisfied state I find myself in.

I am reading a delightful little book. It sort enfolds the reader. I'll wait till the ending to share the title. If it ends badly I don't want anyone to waste their time. But so far, it is very charming.

Monday, November 26, 2007

What is restaurantfree.blogspot.com?

It is my attempt to simplify the budget so I can free up more money for local charities by avoiding all restaurants for one month. Feel free to take a peek and see how we do!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Photoshop is fun!

The girl and I played with some of the basic photo alterations and she decided she liked this one best...
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She has amazing eyes, doesn't she?

Here she is unaltered....
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Fur Undies

On vacation I bought these blankets - artificial down but they have an almost fur like covering. They are incredibly soft, warm, and cozy. For the first time I understood why people sleep nude. I never understood it before - if you have to use the restroom, you'd have to put on a cold robe and freeze to death on the way there. But I was sleeping with this new blanket and geeze it was soft. I announced to the kids the next morning I was going to buy a second one and cut a slit in the middle and wear it like a dress (I could belt it I'm sure).

They, of course, were horrified.

So I think the cavemen had it right... I can see how if PETA wasn't involved, how a mink lined bra and rabbit lined undies would be a HUGE seller. I always thought the whole bear skin in front of the fire thing was an old Hollywood cliche. Now I'm having serious doubts. I'm thinking it is the epitome of a perfect evening.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Vacation...

The entire trip seemed like I would have to cancel it. On Saturday morning, the girl work up crying about her ear hurting. Luckily her ped said to just bring her right to the office. After the ped looking too worried for this mom, that she didn't know what was wrong. She gave me an Rx for ear drops and said to continue the antibiotics. She said she had no idea what was wrong, but to keep an eye on her for swelling and infection(the pain wasn't in her ear, it was near the jaw bone). So by the time we were in the car it was late and we had a long uneventful drive.

We stayed with my grandma. She has a darling little house, a pretty garden and a little lap dog (as the girl pointed out, he looks like a sausage with tiny stick legs). We spent time with grandma, my aunts and their children.

Later in the week, the kids and I grabbed a map and went to Berkeley. We visited the Lawrence Hall of Science. Everyone should visit - even without children. The view is unparalleled. It sits on a hill and overlooks San Francisco. You can see all the bridges, Alcatraz, and, well, almost everything. One exhibit made a huge impression on me. There is this patio with viewing of the city. They have two rocks and every year move them closer together. Then you look over the water and it's exactly like and island and land. At the rate of 5 cm per year, the island is moving. It won't be visibly from than point in 40 years. I hope I'm lucky enough to visit again in 40 years to see how the island disappeared from view.

After the museum, we went up and over to the home of the Bruins. While we didn't have time to really explore much of the University, I did find a restaurant that my grandmother took me to when I was 16. Pretty impressive for a flighty mind! We found our way back to my grandmother's without stress. I'm finding that the freeways of Northern and Southern California are etching themselves into my mind and I am loosing all fear of getting lost.

The boy and male cousins all went to see Beowulf in 3d. None were impressed with much, except the slaughter of some serpent/dragon. My Aunt J and I had a nice walk on the water interspersed with the girl being joyful and a handful.

My cousin (almost a teenager herself!), spent the day with us and she was sweet and entertained the girl. Eventually she asked for a "project". So the she, the girl and the dog, went hunting for perfect leaves to wash and dry and decorate for the Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving is always one of those holidays that you prepare for the entire week, and it's over in an hour and this year was no exception. I was so blessed that all of my Aunties made it. Of course, I longed for my mom to be there... I can see bits and pieces of my mom in them, but I always long for the real thing. My Aunt C is always social and carries conversations so everyone feels instantly at ease, my Aunt D is careful, makes things beautiful and I have always thought quite brilliant, My Aunt J has a way about her that makes me feel like my mom's shadow is with her - mostly quite and especially gentle - there is a naiveté and sweetness. Maybe it's the color of her eyes... I think you always miss the ones you love even more during the holidays.

I have to laugh at how my grandmother and I settled into a routine. Every morning she would make coffee and pull out the paper. After she reads a section, I read it and comment on her small town news, then when the paper is done, she folds the crossword puzzle out and fold it just so. Then she goes to work. Eventually she puts it down and gets ready for the day and I try the puzzle. I almost always want to rip it to shreds and end up throwing it on the table. later in the day we both pick it up and put it down. Sometimes we get out crossword books (until last year I had no idea there were books made specifically for solving these puzzles). When on of the aunts comes over it's something they gravitate to and they also give it a try. One in particular is very gifted at it and FINISHES hers without the books or Internet. I know it sounds goofy, but I love the routine - even though not solving it makes me quite a spoiled brat.

Grandma's dog is a younger dog. But totally a personality. He loves the girl and would sit on her lap all day under a blanket if she could possibly sit still long enough. he roots around under the blanket like a little pig searching for truffles and then sighs and collapses with cozy joy.

I watched a lot of television - I'm not sure if I shared that I do not use cable - I just have broadcast television. So the whole cable thing is a novelty and from about 9pm-11pm, I'm hunting for shows on Bravo, food network or Turner classic movies. And the kids are exposed to Ben10 and Sponge bob in the morning. Last night, I saw part of Team America with the boy and ended up walking away at the puking scene...I think I had my annual fill of cable television. And thank God, he missed the sex scene. Somethings should NOT be seen with your mother.

It was hard to leave - there is no one like your grandmother, I'm beyond words to say how much I adore her. The drive home was hard hard hard! The girl suddenly became Chatty Kathy and said things like "Why would a bottle of water explode in the freezer? What if it was juice? Would soda explode more? Oh I know - I froze a glass of water one time!" and on and on.... the boy and I just started cracking up. She just kept going and going.

We finally hit the Grapevine and it was torture. Constant stop and go. Eventually, my calf, shoulders and hands were in pain. It took almost three hours to get from the top of the Grapevine to the 405. In the dark. Eventually I pulled out all the Cd's and made the kids sing Broadway musicals. I know, cruel punishment. But it is entertaining - for me. I love to sing and I am quite bad at it. I have all of the joy, but none of the talent. So Chicago, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Hairspray. By the time we got down I had moved onto oldies - Rod Stewart. I have a special affinity for Rod. It could be I was named after a song he sang, or because of the young man who played and sang Rod's songs on his guitar one summer night under the stars for me when I was a young girl... Rod put both children soundly asleep until we were almost home. Thank you, Rod Darling!

So now I have unpacking, laundry and a party to prepare for tomorrow. Maybe I will have less domestic topics for you all next week...

Home, Sweet Home!!!!

I just spent almost three hours on the Grapevine. I'll update with a real post tomorrow.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Vacation!

Oh, the fun! Oh, the joy!
I'm on vacation with a girl and boy!

Have some turkey,
Have a tater,
Happy Thanksgiving,
And see you later.

I hope I'm missed. I'm vain like that.

Friday, November 16, 2007

A Quickie

I am now officially not a blond or a brunette anymore. Happily, this month I'm...gingersnap. :D Fits the fall season. What do you think? I'll have to find time to take a better pic - excuse this one in my profile...I am without makeup aside from the lip gloss the girl put on me at the salon. I'm slightly uncomfortable without makeup.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Damn! Damn! Damn!

I am a huge baby when it comes to needles. Which means, I have my wisdom teeth. Yes, I'm over 20 (lol) and have all of my teeth. No cavities (again because of my fear of needles I am very careful to floss and brush 2-3 times a day).

Now, just before vacation, one decides it's hates me. I want to bash it with a rock like Tom Hanks did in Castaway.

I promised my dentist a year ago I'd get it taken care of. Somewhere in this house I have my x-rays and a referral. But I just want to go on my trip and not have it throb for ten days.

Son of bitch. This REALLY sucks. Seven hours of driving two kids with a throbbing jaw. Surely, there must be an extract-it-yourself kit!

Mmmmm...

Nothing is nicer than hearing someone say, "I wanna buy you an ice cream." Maybe it's the kid in me - the incredible amount of choices of cold perfection on a stick. So, I chose a Haagen Dazs chocolate bar. Then I saw it, even better...coffee dipped in chocolate and rolled in almonds.

I feel so spoiled.

Tattoo?

I was recently asked if I have a tattoo and I told the truth and said no. When I was in high school tattoo's were a rose on an ankle and matched everyone else's. Later, girl's branched out and got tattoo's on their lower back - flowers, fairies, tribal designs etc.


So I have been thinking (can you tell I'm getting ready for Haight-Ashbury?) if I were to get one, what would it be? It would have to be water based, for some reason I'm at my most calm and reflective surrounded by the sea. Yes, there are times when I'm perfectly at rest and that is when my feet are on the damp sand.


I think that if I were to brave (and bare all) I would get mermaid scales. I came across this color plate the other night. It's from before the Little Mermaid was bastardized by the kind folks at Disney. I think I would like her scales.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Step #1 Get Naked

#2 Bring a knife into the bathroom
#3 Step into a warm shower
#4 Slice the fruit open and enjoy

There is seriously no better joy than a fresh perfect ripe pomegranate.

I was introduced to them as a small child. My mother loved them and she would have us strip to undies and stand outside on the patio and eat one until our fingers and mouth and chins were stained bright red. I never had any thought as to why Persephone ate six of the tiny seeds. How can you ignore their perfect jeweled selves?

As an adult, I have often thought that the smartest way to eat them was exactly how my mom had use eat them (and she got a solid 20 minutes of peace in the bargain). So now that it is fall, and the fruits are in perfect season, I needed a more grown up way to eat them.

So that brings us to:

Step #1  Get Naked

Obsessive to an Extreme


So....I know what I want for Christmas. Patrick Dempsey. Oh, he's busy? Committed? Then I get the perfect replacement. A Patrick Dempsey doll. Yes, be still my heart....

Does it get any better?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Weekend Checklist

  • Lowe's for the girl to hammer and nail a Thanksgiving surprise.  They gave her an apron, patch and her own safety goggles She is SO thrilled to build with real tools.  If any tool savvy readers have suggestions on what Santa should get her aside from a hammer and nails. I'd love suggestions.
  • Micheal's for her to make an autumn door hanger
  • Lakeshore to make another craft
  • Sakura Saku to split a salmon lunch with the girl
  • Picked up the boy and went to the mall
  • Had dinner at Ruby's
  • Church, once again I loved the pastor's sermon.  I feel like a better person for 15 minutes a week.  I always think, this week I will be a better person, but then things go so fast during the week I find it's Sunday again, and I'm till just the same old person who is back to thinking they want to be a better person.  I wish I was one of those people who are naturally good, kind, and godly.  But I'm just not.
  • Lunch at Flamebroiler
  • Grocery shopping
  • Baking cornbread for an event
  • Baking a pumpkin spice cake for another event
  • Cooking dinner (I know you were wondering if I ever eat at home) Grilled flank steak marinated in lemon juice, cilantro, jalapenos, diced roasted potatoes with onions and a Greek salad
  • Clean up the house for the week and pack up school stuff for the girl.
If anyone is bored, there are some ants wandering the downstairs bathroom.  I can't figure out where they are coming from as they appear drugged and just walk aimlessly about.  It's so disturbing, that we have been avoiding that room entirely.

I also didn't make it to a craft festival and *sob* I missed Brian Jacques.  I really wanted to see him again, he is so funny and even more so, sounds quite incredibly sexy with his accent.  I am distraught that I forgot about him.  


And now the weekend is over.  I will be at work tomorrow.  Yay!  

Not
.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Do you have weekend plans?

I have a long weekend, the boy has a long weekend, but the girl has....SCHOOL!!!! Poor thing. I had thought her calendar had the day off but there in her folder was a notice that school is in session. So I think I will get up superly early and head to work so I can clean my office (it has become unbearable this month) and finish up a project. Then I will head home and take the boy out to lunch.

I had offered to drive him and his friends to see Beowulf in 3d (whilst I shopped) but he said it isn't cool if a mom drives. I told him "Sucks to be you, see it on a regular screen then and buy your own ticket". HA! Actually, I don't really care that I am not cool enough to drive, I just thought he has been working very hard and needed a reward. I tend to do a lot for the girl as she is almost like an additional appendage, and he is often just not there for me to lavish with attention. :-P

I will not have alone time this weekend, but I will drag the girl to see Martian Child (for ME) and the bookstore. I found a nice set of non fiction books for her to look over. It is difficult finding appropriate books for a 5 year old who reads at an older child's ability. Non fiction seems to just fit better.

We are making a couple surprises for the Thanksgiving holiday. Sssh, don't tell!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

More Kid Talk!

Last night, I was putting the girl to bed and she asked for me to tell her a story. I took a breath and she said it had to be about a girl conductor of an orchestra. So I told her a story and she APPLAUDED when I was done. I have never had applause at the end of a made up story before last night.

She is just five, but keeps a blank journal beside the bed. Whenever the mood strikes her, she adds a couple sentences and a picture. Sometimes we write and draw together or leave each other messages. I think I will commit the story to paper and see if it becomes just as well received.

Which reminds me of where my life should have taken me....at about 8, I decided to become a writer and live in a garret-like apartment in New York City. I had planned on starving and writing novels and exploring every inch of New York on foot. Instead, I'm working a mindless sort of job, doing mindless sorts of things. So not where I thought I would be.

I do hope I'm equipping my children to follow their craziest desires.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Mommy Mode

I feel like I have been in "mommy mode" for too many days straight. I love being "mom", but sometimes I just keep going and going and forget I have pieces of me that aren't being fulfilled or I don't even know what isn't being filled. Between kid's parties and chauffeuring kids around town I didn't even realize I have not even read a book for myself in weeks until today.

Saturday, both kids were gone and I was alone for two hours. You would think I had a list activities of grown up fun ready to go. Instead, I felt lost and sad so I called my grandmother who pretty much laughed at me. I was calling her from a dark library parking lot with expired books in the trunk.

So, I went to the outdoor mall to kids stores and the bookstore. Just pathetic really. I ended up buying a crazy Halloween Felix inspired ceramic cat head. Even more pathetic. I was thrilled when the party mom called me to pick her up a little early. MOST pathetic is I was already driving there. Who doesn't know what to do with themselves for two hours? Who buys giant ceramic Felix the Cat inspired heads?

So in true mom fashion, I refuse to be caught in that predicament again. I'm going to have to come up with five things to do if I have no kids for two hours and report back with the results. I think they have to be places where kids are not even allowed to enter...I'll list them from common places to those I'd be embarrassed to be caught alone in....

1. See an R rated movie. I have not seen a rated r movie in a theater in over 15 years.
2. Call a friend and have them teach me card games at a bar.
3. Call a friend who has no kids to meet me at a restaurant bar.
4. Go to a bar alone for a drink (do women even GO to bars to be alone)?
5. Hit an adult store and pretend to be very savvy.

Maybe I'll just go to Sephora to play with make up. *sob* It should NOT be this hard!

I'm feeling like I need the *mostest pathetic award ever* to have 3 things on my list of five items that involve drinking.

Friday, November 2, 2007

I Can't Stop Watching...Why?

Aside from Dr McDreamy being dreamy... I HATE the fact that I feel as messed up as Meredith. She has the perfect man in her life (and bed, lol) and she cannot let it be perfect. Fine, I get it. I really do get it. I can even forgive the character and call it a plot twist.

But what bothers me are the lines she says, that I have said or written. It is seriously so unsettling that I don't think I can watch anymore. It's bad enough to watch my own life in real life but to have to see scene's replayed on a screen really, really, sucks.

As Dr Grey says, "It's not about the sex, it's not. It's about that moment afterward, when the world stops. You just feel so safe. I'm not ready to give that up".

I suppose the therapeutic part of watching this weak, sad, pathetic situation is that you realize, the man has nothing to do with it. It's just a bunch of brain chemicals.

In a way, it's liberating.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Ahoy there, Matey!

Guess who won first place in the costume contest??? Rrrrrrr, little Captain Hook!
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She just proves, being the bad guy can be a LOT of fun. It was so funny seeing all the little Peter Pan's reaching for their daggers when she walked by, and seeing her raise her hook and give them the evil eye.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

October is Just Crazy!

It's the last night of the month. My little Captain Hook is dressed and eagerly awaiting an audience - she lives for being theatrical. With three Halloween events tonight, she will have enough candy (and attention) to last the rest of her life. The boy has decided to "not do Halloween", but I am sure as soon as he gets home, he will have plans of his own.

I am planning our San Francisco trip this month. If anyone who reads this has any unique must see and do advice, I'd LOVE it. I'll be taking Bart into The City one day and another day I'll be driving in (wish me luck here - last year in Haight-Ashbury I had to ask a guy on the street to parallel park for me-completely embarrassing as a small crowd had gathered). I really am a trusting person.

I am considering doing a cave excursion near Gold Country. I really enjoy visiting caves and haven't been since I was a little girl. You would think my claustrophobia would kick in, but it's different when you're "exploring".

We have an offer to go to Placerville and it's such a fun holiday event. But I'm also thinking an afternoon of nothing before the drive home would be good too.

So please leave me suggestions! I like to leave no stone unturned and I'm not afraid to take on a fun and exciting challenge.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Shameless Advertising

I have a thing for a well run mom and pop store. Whether it's a restaurant, clothing store, baking supply shop, or hand crafted items store - if it's run by local people, they get my business first. Last night is the perfect example. The boy has his date (an older woman, lol) and now he needs the clothing.

So we went to Milano Galleria at the Westminster Mall. It's a tiny shop and run by Mohammad Yahya. Geeze could the man sell! He was friendly, gave the boy advice (which was funny stuff like - show up with your tie on correctly but as you head out to the dance floor loosen it). It was even funnier with his jolly India accent and wide arm gestures and my goodness, was he friendly! He even had the boy get into a full suit just to see what it would feel like for the dance.

As we left the boy and I were chuckling and the boy remarked that Mohammad had really found his perfect calling and no matter what career he ends up in that he is half as happy. So if you or your offspring need a suit - stop by and say hi to Mohammad.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Halloween Dilemma

So the boy has decided to dress in all black, tight jeans, leather jacket and eyeliner for Halloween. This means he is not dressing up. I'm sad, it happens, he's almost 15 and I suppose Halloween has a different meaning during the teen years...guys look dark and dangerous and the girls wear tiny angel costumes and wings, bunny or kitten costumes.

But for the girl, Halloween is still magical and full of pretend. She is however, torn between following her own desires and conforming to the norms of a female in the kindergarten set. Last weekend, she choose between Alice in Wonderland, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Mulan and Cinderella and settled on Mulan. I should have noticed the unrest in her eyes when we walked out of the store.

Last night, we ended up at the mall (free air conditioning and clean air). I noticed her staring at the costumes on the "other side" of the store. She said she really needed a hook hand and sword. So I offered for her to try on the Captain Hook costume. She was dubious, it just wasn't done, we were supposed to be on the sparkely side of the store. I saw her on the edge, a choice of something she wanted and a choice of what she felt were heavy expectations. She put her little arms through the maroon velvet coat and then she suggested trying the hat on as well. She grinned at her reflection in the mirror and said "I AM Captain Hook!". She is a stinkin' doll faced Captain Hook, but I told her, instead, that she looked fierce.

One more year of Halloween about the fantasy and not about what the other girls are wearing.

Oh, and me? I'm looking for a blue gown...I will be Wendy. The girl who adores the boy who never grows up.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Not much to say today

Not handling the air quality well. The fires are scary - luckily we are just effected by the poor air quality. The kids look sick, I'm having a hard time just breathing without coughing. My prayers are with those affected by evacuations, those who have lost homes, those still in the line of fire, and the men and woman who put their lives in danger by fighting the fires.
Check out the satellite view a friend shared with me....
http://sat.wrh.noaa.gov/satellite/1km/Oxnard/VIS1LAX.GIF

Sunday, October 21, 2007

LA LA Land at it's Most Fun!

We spent the day in LA on Saturday. The kids and I started on Melrose where the boy found a leather jacket at Wasteland. It's tres cool - Johnny Rotton would be pleased. Every teen needs a black jacket with lots of zippers and shiny metal details.

Realizing that we had to hurry, we drove up La Brea to Hollywood Blvd and paid way to much money to see Jack the Pumpkin King in Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D at the El Capitan. I did love the seats and the price included popcorn and drinks. The set was too much fun and the organist was phenom. It is really the most beautiful movie theater I've been inside of, every detail was thought of - incredible light fixtures, ornate ceilings, the live music. It just felt amazing - exactly how seeing a film should feel.

The movie is stunning. I've seen it - and have it memorized as do the kids - but nothing can be more brilliant than seeing it in such a breathtaking way. This film should be seen in theaters. It's just so much more visually stimulating. After the credits were over we headed to Mann's Chinese theater and checked out foot pints and street characters. An amazingly tall man dressed as some sort of winged woman (with the hottest thighs I've ever seen, it is a shame he is a man) took a fancy to the girl. It was a blast.

So by now it's dinner time and we decided to try an LA tradition - Pink's. A thirty minute wait was nothing by the time we got our food. It's not a fancy experience - waiting in line on a sidewalk, the scent of meat smacking you upside the face. The heat of their grills and fryers roasting you alive as you read and reread the menu. The girl chose a chili dog, the boy chose The Martha Stewart (he lives with the motto - everything is better with some bacon), and I was torn...sauerkraut (I don't think I really like it, but I love sour things and almost never pass it up) or a chili dog and went for the Rosie: ten inches of hot dog with chili AND sauerkraut. They have a twelve inch dog, but I know for sure I can't handle anything that big. We splurged and had some Dr. Brown's soda in glass bottles.

We got home and I finished the bloody cake, dropped him off for the event, washed the stuff in my house that got blood on them, and by then it was really late and he needed to be picked up. The girl fell asleep on the way home and she never woke up. I kept sticking her in the car seat and she just went on sleeping. Very, very cool and unusual.

Today was church, lunch, shopping and home. On the way back from shopping the girl said, "Mom yesterday was really special, it felt like we were on a vacation." I was so please to have given Disney $66 plus handling for the tickets for that Hallmark moment. Granted, had I chosen the cheaper seats, she would have said the same thing, but this makes it a little easier to watch my bank account drain . :P

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Bloody Cake

I love to make pretty cakes. Flowers, wedding type cakes, all pretty lovely things. So I was interested to see how things could be from the dark side. I was "commissioned" to make a cake for a musical group for a Halloween party this evening. I was asked to make something to feed 69 people (lol). And it was free reign on artistic fun.

The fun began last night by baking a golden vanilla cake, brushing it with a simple syrup mixture and then stabbing it with a fork. I poured liquid red cherry jello over it. When the cake is cut open it will appear to be bleeding with red running through the holes.

I had fun creating a butcher knife out of chocolate and vanilla fondant this morning. Later, I iced the cake with a white icing flavored with creme bouquet and almond. The final parts were making an icing that appeared bloody and writing the song title and then taking a brush and splattering it with more blood. I added the bloody knife and a signature hand print (I swear I washed my hands first) .

I was delighted by the groups reaction when I made the delivery. Halloween is my favorite holiday. For fun here are some pictures. The flash is wonkey so one picture appears yellow.


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Friday, October 19, 2007

Just Another Friday

  • Did "stuff" at work
  • Noticed that when I turn to talk in my chair my skirt is too high. And solved the mystery of why people have been coming into my cube all day to talk. Slightly embarrassed.
  • Went to the gym. I couldn't even find my gym ID, it has been TOO long. For a second I stared at the treadmill...I couldn't remember how to turn it on.
  • Harassed every coworker with vents about how it was Friday and no one was dancing or even excited. Did the merengue in my cube. Alone.
  • Drank water. I am caffeine free. For now.
  • Bought tickets for a show Saturday.
  • Danced some more alone in my cube. I need to be entertained.
  • Went to dinner with the girl. She told me I chose a "Lovely restaurant". Seriously, my 5 year old was impressed.
  • And now I am going to sculpt a butcher knife out of chocolate and vanilla fondant. It is step one in my "build a bloody cake" adventure.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Hump Day!

I love Wednesday, you're half way finished with the week and your voicemail can be changed to Hi!, It's Hump Day! Leave a message at the tone. Then you can plead innocent and slutty at the same time. An Equal Opportunity moment.

When I was a little girl, my friends and I used to take a bus to something called The Plunge. I loved it - it was the typical indoor community pool, without the safeguards of present times. Kids could come and go, parents never seemed to be there, and there was a high dive.

My best friend H would climb up the ladder and just jump off. Being all of five or six, I decided I would jump off the high dive too. I've never been a swimmer, over my lifetime I've mastered the dog paddle and not much else, but I took my tiny little self over to the base of the ladder. The callous teen life guard said, "If you go up, you can only jump down".

So I climbed the ladder, I didn't look down. I walked the plank. I gave it a little bounce. I paused and saw my toes at the edge of the rough board. I saw the water wrinkled below me. I heard my girlfriend telling me to jump. And I froze. I couldn't move. H pushed the other kids aside and started to climb up. The guard started the whistle and H told me to go back down with her. And I did. I didn't try to fight the fear. I let it control the situation.

So I have been thinking about people I've known and what draws me to them. And then I wonder if it's more my reaction to them that makes relationships exciting. I've protected myself so well, I'm quite insulated.

What would it be like to feel joy, hate, anger, passion, deeply? What would it be like to feel those emotions on a daily basis?

I live a mostly white bread existence, tame and routine. What would it be like to step outside of myself for more than a moment? To finally jump off the high dive without looking back?

Monday, October 15, 2007

One Plus One Equals One

So I'm reading this book that is quite beyond me and one of the highlights of a chapter reads something like, we trust things to have rules and consistency. We take things like 1+1=2 for granted. And then it proceeds to show that there are times when 1+1=1. The example I understood the best was if there are two drops of water and they merge (addition), you get one drop of water.
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So I've spent my morning meditation thinking about this. It's an almost uncomfortable idea.

There is also this part about negative space. You know those pictures that ask, Do you see a vase or two faces?
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And I wonder, what would it be like to have programmed yourself to see the negative space first? And maybe there are people out there that do see it first. Could that view change how they see everything?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Weekend Entertainment aka a Good Date

Yesterday, after dropping the boy off at a friends (he does this rpg with a friend and his parents and his parent's friends on the weekend), I drove to the theater with The Girl. She has been begging to see The Game Plan for almost a year and I have been avoiding it. I really hate sappy Disney movies and I also really hate The Rock. Mostly because he eyes are too close together and his teeth are REALLY long. I know, I should over look all that - it's not like he can help how he looks, but also a lot of humongo muscles make my skin crawl (in a bad way).

So I bite the bullet and just drive. We get to the theater and find seats and...the movie was not that bad. I mean icky muscles and all. The Rock did something I didn't think he was capable of...he made fun of himself. So now, while The Rock doesn't have another true fan, I've stopped the hate.

As soon as the credits were up the girl wails, I'M HUNGRY, I HAVE TO EAT NOWWWWW! So we hurry out and eat at Pomodoro. She was crying she was so hungry. I don't know how that happens - she ate less than 90 minutes earlier, but it meant our movie was turning into an unpredicted show AND dinner date. We did get to sit on the patio and there was a live band across the way in the courtyard. It was altogether a lovely night. The outside lights were on , candles were lit, and 70's music was being played, and I had a delightful dinner conversationalist as my guest.

After the show we bumped into friends at Barnes & Noble. It was funny because The Girl whispered to me, "Hey, that's L from school." I guess he was telling his parents about The Girl at the same time. They were pretty sure they were classmates (this all finds me quite hysterical) but they were in 'street clothes' and couldn't be quite sure since they were in the wrong clothing. Once they made the identification, they were quite chummy.

By now it's about 8:30 so we make out purchases and head back the the car. The band is still playing and The Girl wants to dance. So she dances in front of the band, and then starts doing gym stunts to the music. Cartwheels, round offs, handstands, back bend kick overs, she realizes she has an audience and she just hams it up. She is just so beautiful to watch, she has so much grace. At her age, I was the kid who tripped over my own feet and never managed a proper cartwheel. The highlight of her night was when the lead singer called her sweetie.

On the way back to the car The Girl told me I should have danced with her. I don't dance. I've been to dances and danced, but I've never enjoyed it. And the idea of me dancing at an outdoor concert leaves me horrified and embarassed. At once I Emmy's comment about adults having more fear hit me. I wonder how many times I operate out of fear more than bravery.

How many more chances to dance in the moonlight will I pass up?

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Ugly Bits

I wasn't sure what to call this little posting, but I think this is a good descriptive title. I have a good imagination, that sometimes gets me over my head in difficult and painful situations. And really I have no issue with digging myself out. I look at it as just something I do because of who I am. Selfish, impulsive, these are just parts of me.

Recently, I've discovered my little fantasy world effects other people when they are not quite the way I've imagined them to be. Especially with my kids. I have plans for them that they grow up healthy and strong, finish school, have a secondary education that gives them a world of opportunities, that they find a perfect someone and have a perfect life.

As my son gets older, I realize I have no control in his life at all. It's a terrifying thought and I'm not sure why. So now I have to reevaluate what kind of mother I am and what kind of mother they need. Am I even worthy of the job? It's terrifying to know I'm not enough for them.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Once again, I'm in love!

Last night was episode 2 of Grey's Anatomy (for those who are not into tv,
it's a soap opera that takes place in a hospital and it's on at night). I
have this crazy, school girl crush on Patrick Dempsey. I swear if he
were in the same room I would walk into a wall and not even notice.

I totally understand the the Dutch reporter who handcuffed herself to Hugh Grant
(my other fantasy man who has cleverness and a perpetual smirk).

If given the opportunity, I would too.

What is it about men (real and pretend) who are incredibly smart and handsome (who
know they are incredibly smart and handsome) and who tell lies and smile at
the same time that make me incredibly giggly, blush and clumsy ? How
immature am I that a television actor gets to me? I don't want to avoid
it though, it's a fun and happy feeling. Everyone should have a crush.

So for all those fallen from grace women out there, I'm going to let you
know I will be on pins and needles waiting for Enchanted to come out next month.
That will be me in VIP seats and sneaking in chocolate to see Mr.
Weakens My Knees at the ElCapitan opening weekend.

Oh, I might bring a kid with me too...but that's only because then I have more pockets for chocolate.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Field Trip

***still revising***
I was all ready to write about invisible bathtubs and raisins are people too, but sadly the opportunity never came up. We went to a farm to pick pumpkins, vegetables and to pet goats.

We got there and watched the girl interact with her classmates - something a working mom has few opportunites to see first hand. This means I watched her interacting witht the boys. The girls would give her hugs and try and get her to stay with them, but she was of course, right in the middle of the boys. S is her best guy friend and when they partnered up, he grabbed her hand. He didn't let go until their hands were so sweaty they just slid apart.

moooooog35 said something about dads and field trips (he has the funniest guy blog I've ever read titled "Mental Poo"), so I thought I'd give a "mom" impression of the dads. We had one dad show up and he was "super dad". After walking through a cornstalk labyrinth, the kids (and moms) were tired, hot and dusty. So dad brought some water bottles and told the kids to lean back while he filled their mouths in a sanitary fashion. The kids looked like a bunch of baby birds with their necks bent cackwards and water being dropped in.

Moms would never have done this baby brid trick. Someone would get wet (they did), someone would want to spit it out (they did), someone would cry they got too much (they did), and some kids couldn't get enough cried about that too. But he won the super coolest dad medal from all the kids because...he wasn't a mom.

And dads are a little riskier.

I wasn't a risk-taker and declined being fed water. In retrospect, probably one of my smarter moves as I was wearing a white tee shirt.

We did get the purdiest pumpkin in the patch though.

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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Self Portrait

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"I just want to be inspired."

Yes, it's a sappy movie quote, but the heart of it is, it's true.

While it's nice to read a well written book or hear music that makes your heart hurt or that grabs and relives a memory or to see a painting that makes your hands impulsivley want to touch it (ever wonder why I visit art galleries and keep my hands behind my back? - once I scared a security guard and myself by almost touching a painting), life isn't about viewing someone else's inspirations, it's about being inspired and making something with your own essence spilling out.

So...inspire me.

Monday, October 8, 2007

***PSA***

Edward Lewis: A buffet of safety?
Vivian: I'm a safety girl.

Every woman needs a powerful one. They come in small packages and different voltages, run on batteries, and are faithful - always right there when you're in a tight spot.

Get your mind out of the gutter and stop at Pep Boys for a portable air compressor. The best 29.95 you can spend. Try and find a higher PSI so it works faster. In the past three years I've used it about 15 times. No need for me to call AAA - I'll save that call for a true emergency. A flat tire is something I can handle in heels and a short skirt in a few short minutes.

I've used them on bikes, jogging strollers, my car, friends cars and stranger's cars in the Target parking lot. It's way less scary than trying to jump start a battery.

****End of PSA****

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The Girl is a Mathematician

The girl is a cuddler, she likes to be half asleep and dig her feet under my thighs. I like the weekend routine.

This morning, was different, she bolted upright and announced "Zero is an odd number. No matter how many you have, even a hundred zero's, you still have nothing. No, wait, zero is an even number, if you have zero, I have zero, and A has zero, we still have nothing. If you don't have anything you still have zero."

Bleary eyed and confused, all I could do was listen to her rattle off her thoughts quickly like a machine gun.

Once she was satisfied with her monologue, she dug her toes under me and began to cuddle.

The weekend has begun.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Pity Party for One!

I am stoic and made of tough stuff, but one thing I cannot handle is a headache. Last night at 2:30 the girl woke up and said she couldn't breath. I resisted the impulse to tell her to go downstairs and take something, but as I sat up, to quote Miss Clavel "Something was not right!".

After I took care of little one, I went back to sleep with a small prayer that I would be right as rain in the morning. Of course, I was not. So here is is, over 12 hours later (I am lying, I have no idea it it has been 12 hours or 11 hours I just cannot 'do math' when I am like this) and I still have a headache.

Luckily, I do get a lot of advice at work. First I drank 32oz of watered down Power Aid. Then, I self medicated with coffee. At 12 I was still suffering. So a coworker said aspirin, another said benadryl, and then came the holistic "Earl grey it has bergamot, try that".

So now, a cup of tea later, an aspirin, and a benadryl later.....I have a headache.

I hope this means I'm not sick.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The Wedding

So very frustrated - I'll try again tomorrow or, in a fit of passion tonight. okay here is the ole college try....

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The wedding was held in beautiful Santa Barbara. Surprisingly, while the view is beautiful, I was surprised at how many homeless people call it their home. I was expecting a city for romantic weekends and instead saw a city of contradictions.

The boy and girl and I had to wait to check in and wandered up and down State Street. While there were fun vintage shops, many of the stores are found at your local mall.
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Our hotel, the Mar Monte was older and ran along the main beach drive. The room was pleasantly spacious and we had a view of the spa.
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We met the bride and groom at a casual pizza place, Rusty's the eve before their wedding.
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The next morning we went to the original (and last standing) Sambo's Restaurant. My grandmother gave me one of the first Sambo books printed in the US. It is on many banned book lists. The food is good, and I didn't have a Bloody Mary - if you ever go - everyone is ordering it and it looks delish.
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That evening was the wedding. It was held at the Santa Barbara Historic Courthouse in the gardens. The afternoons was warm and sunny and the ceremony was very sweet and auspicious beginning for a life together. While the wedding party had photo's the boy and the girl were good sports and let me take tons of photo's. Until the girl broken because she was hungry and needed a restroom. Like most tourist cities you have to buy something to get a key and I feel slightly robbed. But having to make a purchase at the Coffee Cat was hardly painful until you decide to order a crepe.
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Crepe's are not just for breakfast. However, being almost 5, the cook had gone home so the crepe menu was closed. *boo hoo* If I ever spend time again in Santa Barbara will be in line at the Coffee Cat for a banana and Nutella crepe. Who doesn't love an independent coffee house?

The next day we went to see the Santa Barbara Mission. I normally love historic buildings, but I always feel sadness when I visit missions. Something about the frugal and brutal lives of the people who created them, the unmarked burials of natives, the crypts, and unknown artisans, make missions not on my list of things to see. Give me a garden, art museum or other sunny sport. This marks the entrance of the cemetery.
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On the way home we stopped at the Levi's store for the boy. 511 skinny jeans. Of course he does not wear the preppy shirt or sweater.
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And that marks the end of our mini weekend getaway. Our next travel adventure will be in Northern California over Thanksgiving.