I wasn't sure what to call this little posting, but I think this is a good descriptive title. I have a good imagination, that sometimes gets me over my head in difficult and painful situations. And really I have no issue with digging myself out. I look at it as just something I do because of who I am. Selfish, impulsive, these are just parts of me.
Recently, I've discovered my little fantasy world effects other people when they are not quite the way I've imagined them to be. Especially with my kids. I have plans for them that they grow up healthy and strong, finish school, have a secondary education that gives them a world of opportunities, that they find a perfect someone and have a perfect life.
As my son gets older, I realize I have no control in his life at all. It's a terrifying thought and I'm not sure why. So now I have to reevaluate what kind of mother I am and what kind of mother they need. Am I even worthy of the job? It's terrifying to know I'm not enough for them.