Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Ugly Bits

I wasn't sure what to call this little posting, but I think this is a good descriptive title. I have a good imagination, that sometimes gets me over my head in difficult and painful situations. And really I have no issue with digging myself out. I look at it as just something I do because of who I am. Selfish, impulsive, these are just parts of me.

Recently, I've discovered my little fantasy world effects other people when they are not quite the way I've imagined them to be. Especially with my kids. I have plans for them that they grow up healthy and strong, finish school, have a secondary education that gives them a world of opportunities, that they find a perfect someone and have a perfect life.

As my son gets older, I realize I have no control in his life at all. It's a terrifying thought and I'm not sure why. So now I have to reevaluate what kind of mother I am and what kind of mother they need. Am I even worthy of the job? It's terrifying to know I'm not enough for them.

3 comments:

Emmy said...

Knowing that you have no control over your child and that he will be his own person no matter what you do means that you are doing everything right. Children are born knowing so much more than we realize and we have years of fear that they do not have. Often, if we just let them be a bit, they may turn out better than we ever hoped.

A Girl, A Boy, and Me said...

Thank you Emmy. Your comment has given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to have to print it out and carry it in my wallet so I don't forget it.

moooooog35 said...

I have to tell you that when I saw the title of this, I was expecting to see explicit photos of your nether-region.

So, when you get the email with photos of my ugly bits, you can just go ahead and delete it.

On the other hand, I'm sure we were all worse kids growing up than what our parents prepared us for (unless your parents really, really sucked) - and I think we all end up pretty okay in the end.

In the meantime, I'll be waiting for those pics.

Thanks in advance.